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Apparently my rough drafts are too good

22 Jan

I’d rather not completely change my own principle way of writing, but I might have to in order to get better than a C in my creative nonfiction writing class. I mean seriously, woman…a flipping C? Not to sound too high and mighty, but I don’t get Cs in classes strictly about WRITING. Foolish woman.

But apparently, after a pep talk from Marisa yesterday, Professor likes IMPROVEMENT. Even if I had an amazing rough draft, my second draft has to be even more amazing, and my THIRD draft has to be almost sent from heaven. I DON’T DO THIRD DRAFTS. I write a great draft, and mess with it slightly here and there. So now, against my own conscience, I have to start with a shitty draft and improve immensely from there. Seriously, if some of the papers I read got higher grades than I did because they improved more on crap than I improved on a great paper, I’m gonna smack someone. Honestly, she told me that with MINOR adjustments that this was ready for publication in the school’s lit mag. I would have submitted it if the villain in the story didn’t go to our school.

That might get awkward, even though I doubt she’d ever read Tahoma West anyway.

I’m sorry if I sound arrogant right now, but I’m pissed. Her critique was all, “this is really good, you should submit it after making a couple adjustments,” and then I get my grading sheet back and she said, “met genre requirements, perfect grammar, used craft techniques effectively, but oh, yeah…you got a C.”

WHAT?

This is a seemingly waste of a blog, but it felt like a change up from what I usually write about. Because I’m sure you’re getting tired of my ramblings about…shit I don’t even remember what I’ve been writing about lately. Oh right, Doctor Who, missing my best friend, and music. Duh. Pretty much been what most of my tweets have been about for the last two weeks.

I took Libby’s senior portraits a couple weeks ago, and I never posted any pics, but this was one of my favorites.

I just freaking love her hair in it.

And here’s one from one of Laura’s going away parties.

Miss you already. ❤

OH MY GOD.

NEW WAS.

HOLY BALLSACK.

I wish I could embed this video, but Facebook doesn't want me too, and this guy hasn't uploaded it to Youtube yet.

Here's the link, nonetheless.

And here’s Nobody Move at Johnny Brenda’s in Philly two nights ago. I just wish that Laura could go to the WAS show in Hoboken tomorrow night.

Oh, and here’s a show roundup from What’s the Word, including twitter pics and a link to a review and some better pictures. Philly Show Roundup. Damn Keith is looking good. One more thing to look forward to in May. Holy crap May is going to be the most amazing month EVER.

Hmm, what else?


Hello Thomas Mars. I get to see you again tomorrow.

You I get to see you, Laurent.

And you Deck.

You too, Christian!

And since I won’t be in the pit with time constraints and hopefully no smoke machine, my pics will be amazing. Here’s hoping. And to meet them. That would be fantastic.

And just cause, some David Tennant picspam.




And a bonus of Tennant and Cribbins at the NTAs the other day that Susie posted on the WAS board yesterday. So heartwarming.

Screw my new sign-off, it’s tedious.

❤ Abby

Leave it to Lady Gaga to DIE on stage

14 Sep

I figured since I’m SUCH a music fan, I may as well write about the VMAs last night, even though MTV has ruined so many things over the last few years.

But I must admit, bravo MTV, bravo. Last night’s awards show was awesome. It had scandal, a sexy host, some funny bits, and the performances – OH THE PERFORMANCES!

I’ll start with the scandal, because it is, of course, what everyone is talking about. This is the first and only time I can say that I was “on Taylor Swift’s side.” I don’t enjoy her music. She can’t sing live for shit, and I just don’t dig country. But she’s adorable, she writes her own songs, and she’s for sure a better role models for teenagers than Miley Cyrus who dances on poles in daisy dukes. So even I was disgusted when she went up to accept her award for Best Female Video and thank everyone, and lo and behold, here comes the duke of douchebags, Kanye West.

“Taylor, I’m happy for you, you can finish in a minute, but Beyonce had one of the best videos of ALL TIME!” And he hands her back her mic and they show Beyonce in the audience like “what the fuck is he doing? Good god I’m so much classier than he is.” Awkward pause, then cut to Tracy Morgan and Eminem’s Best New Artist bit, laugh laugh laugh, commercial, come back to Russell Brand’s sexy ass trying to keep the show going after Kanye’s head exploded with so much douche.

Thankfully, Kanye was “escorted” out of the theater after the incident. But that’s the nice way of saying that the producers kicked him and his bald-ass famewhore girlfriend out of Radio City Music Hall.

I mean, look at these whores.

Ack.

And I LOVED it whenever they announced Kanye as a nominee for anything after that, people booed. You don’t hear a lot of booing from MTV audiences, because god knows they aren’t critical of anything really, but it was fantastic. I actually booed on my couch at home. And I again clapped when Beyonce, the queen that she is, won the award for video of the year, and she brought Taylor back out to have her moment. It was so classy.

I’m just excited to see Kanye on Leno’s new show tonight, because it will be so AWKWARD. Haha, Kanye, you just lost SO many fans.

I’ll just reiterate how HOT Russell Brand looked last night. He lost the nest on the back of his head, and traded it for a top hat. In fact, he probably lent the nest to Gaga. Nevermind.

Again, I clapped after the Michael tribute. Sure, Madonna’s speech was a little weird, bringing the attention back to her in some weird way, but the mashup of all the videos and the dancers and when Janet came out and danced right next to the video of her brother, it was very cool, and very much like how MTV used to be.

Honestly, last night’s awards reminded me of back in the early 2000s before the VMAs started to suck. Having the Michael tribute open the show was the only way to do him justice after the BET Awards utterly failed at remembering him earlier this summer. Way to go, MTV. Way to go.

Something just dawned on me, I was looking through pictures from the VMAs, and do these two dresses look similar to you? >>>

Ouch. I mean, the dress is fierce, but that really sucks for both of them.

Sorry, I got sidetracked for a minute. Mom really liked the Eminem/Tracy Morgan bits about the best new artist award. But really, you put Tracy Morgan with anyone, and it’s funny. But I just love him Eminem seemed so earnest – it was hilarious. And for sure, the right person won. HELLO GAGA. And at the end – this was awesome – she ended with “this is for god and the gays!”


Eminem’s face is priceless in that picture.

How could she not win after a performance like that. Leave it to Lady Gaga to die on stage. It was fantastic. And I know some people think she’s a freak, but come on, really? If she wasn’t talented, sure you can say that. But she is so talented. And I generally don’t like pop music, but I would love to see her live. Her mashup of Poker Face and Paparazzi was one of multiple great performances of the night.

Let’s see, you’ve got Gaga.
Then Beyonce.
Green Day.
Taylor Swift (even though she was lip-syncing).
Pink.
Jay-Z with Alicia Keys.
Katy Perry’s really doesn’t count because she was introducing Russell with a Queen cover.
And MUSE!

They were all awesome and creative. Pink on a trapeze, Taylor Swift dancing in the Subway, Jay-Z and Alicia’s tribute to NYC two days after the 9/11 anniversary, Billy Joe crowd-surfed during Green Day’s performance, Beyonce had a ton of ladies doing the single ladies dance, and then there’s just Muse. You don’t even need a qualifier of why they’re awesome. But I was so pleased with the performances, like it’s kind of ridiculous how much I enjoyed it. There was no Miley to be found, people weren’t ogling over Coldplay like they did at the Grammys, and Matt & Kim won for Breakthrough Video for “Lessons Learned!”

What I loved about the Muse performance was that it wasn’t in Radio City, it was in the Walter Kerr theater across the street, a smaller theater, which meant that it was more intimate for the people watching, and those people were genuinely Muse fans, not just people who came to the VMAs to see everyone else. And at this point, I’m not so mad at Muse for possibly being on the New Moon soundtrack, because if that means they tour here more, I’m happy. Sure, I wish it was for a better movie, but at this point I’ve given up caring so much.

But I did hear the new Death Cab song “Meet Me On the Equinox,” and guess what? It’s not that good. I actually feel kind of vindicated.

It was so hilarious when Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson came up on stage to introduce the “extended trailer” for New Moon. All the little chickies in the audience jizzed in their pants, and screamed their faces off. And to honest, Taylor almost looked better than RPattz last night. And Kristen’s mullet is ridiculous. And RPattz was totally drunk. He was slurring his words, whatever small amount of words he had to say.

See, SO DRUNK.

And I’m not sure whether or not that dress is working on Kristen. She needs more boobs and less mullet. And christ is she pale. Taylor looks like a completely different color palette standing next to those two translucent “lovers” as the gossip mags are calling them. Blech.

But I will say, this second movie looks way more entertaining than the first one. I’m guessing there will be less longing stares and bad makeup. I’ll probably go see it just for the laughs.

I think I’m done now. I think I’ll go listen to more Muse. <3<3<3

❤ Abby

Bumbershoot, finally

9 Sep

It’s wednesday, and I’m a terrible person for not posting this AS SOON AS I GOT HOME MONDAY. But my head hurt and I was tired as hell.

But I’ll try not to go on too long about the bands themselves, because that’s what my articles for Popwreckoning are for. That’s partially why this took me so long, because I was busy writing up my recaps for them. Hopefully, they’ll be up in the next couple days.

I’ll start from the beginning –

SATURDAY:


We started with Katy Perry, mainly because Libby wanted to. I figured I should to diversify who I was seeing that day to include a somewhat comprehensive recap. But surprisingly, the second half of her set was really fun. Sure, I was surrounded by tween girls and horny teenage boys, was weird, but fun enough for 1 in the afternoon, which felt like far too early to really get into anything. And Katy Perry ACTUALLY kissed a girl. It was hilarious, because one of the security guards lifted her up with her explosion of tutu coming from her butt, putting his face in her ass, as she leaned over the front rail to kiss a girl. O.O Scandalous! One of the chicks standing behind me actually shouted, “OMG SHE KISSED A GIRL!” Wow. Shit your pants who don’tchya? Katy Perry did make her way through a cover of Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now,” which was actually quite fun, because I was singing along to that one, only thinking of the scene in Shaun of the Dead when they were all beating the zombie in the pub with pool cues to the beat of the juke box. It was remotely entertaining on her part.


That’s what Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head was for – having fun. Libby hasn’t listened to their stuff, but I dragged her along anyway. I’m SO glad I did, because they were awesome. A friend of ours said they were better the last time he saw them, but I didn’t care what he said. They were so much fun with their infectious songs about sexy facial hair and holding hands in the shower. After that, I really want to hang out with them. Like seriously. They’re basically all my age, and I saw a few of them walking around the festival for the next couple of days, so I contemplating going up to say hi. But I think I need to figure out a way not to fangirl at everything. If I want to be in this business, I have to chill out and not act like a goofy fan. But I will DEFINITELY be going to see them again when they play in town – which shouldn’t be that far off, since they live here.

But really, there’s a song about sexy facial hair – “Beard Lust.” Seriously. AWESOME.

Okay…I can’t remember what happened next. I think we…um…went shopping? No! We went to the Northwest Rooms so I could show Libby the walls I put up in the art galleries. She didn’t find it nearly as cool as I did, but she did sit forever and draw stuff on the walls covered in butcher paper. I can’t draw, so I didn’t find it nearly as amusing. There was this guy posing for people to draw. He was only wearing underwear.


Next was Matt & Kim. Holy crap they were awesome. I didn’t hurt that they were so genuinely happy to be there. I don’t think you could find a more joyous and humble band. Kim did not stop grinning and Matt pumped up the crowd, with the mere instrument of his keyboard. Keyboard and drumkit. That’s all it took to start a huge dance party on the Broad Street lawn. And it rained, quite a bit actually, but it didn’t matter, because after Matt had started the opening riffs for “Daylight” several times, the rain STOPPED. They even broke out into a short homage to “Final Countdown” by Europe. Seriously. It was so much fun, but not too crazy because the crowd wasn’t ginormous that we didn’t get pummeled by crowd surfers. But there were a fair share of those – even in the somewhat small crowd compared to anything the main stage produced. People were throwing tortillas for christ’s sakes! The taco stand was right outside the Broad Street Stage, so it was fitting. At one point, Matt was like, “are these tortillas? Someone must have told you, because tacos are my favorite food. Really all sandwiches.”

So someone threw a sandwich on stage at the end of the set. Really. A wrapped-up sandwich.

We ran into a couple chicks from PHS who got Matt to sign their stomach inside the Center House before we got food. And then we realized I didn’t have my wallet.

Yeah, I didn’t have my wallet. So we used Libby’s money to buy food, got our hand stamped and went out to the car to see if the wallet was there. At that point, we didn’t have main stage passes and didn’t really want to go see anyone else that night, and it was already past 8, so we left and went back to my aunt’s house so I could write about all of saturday’s wonderful festivities.

Oh! I almost forgot! When we were standing around doing…something…in the middle of the walkway that afternoon, THIS GUY and THIS GAL was standing right behind me.

Yeah, I was standing THIS close to THAT amount of famous. I didn’t even say hello, and I felt starstruck. I mean holy balls.

OKAY, SUNDAY:


Now sunday was much rainier than saturday. Like, there were puddles all across the ground at the mainstage, and the steps were slippery, and the ground at the Broad Street stage was soggy. It was WET. But no matter, Cold War Kids were awesome anyway – and again – as it poured down rain, and they started playing “Hang Me Up To Dry,” the rain fucking STOPPED. It was so perfect, yet again. Weather, sometimes you amaze me. But anyway. The crowd for Cold War Kids were very low-key, which wasn’t the greatest, but the band sounded AWESOME. At one point, the lead singer was like, “I see now that the sun’s coming out, clothes are just coming off of people.” That’s what happened. After we all started stripping off our rain jackets and hats, he took off his jacket and overshirt. It was perfect.

When thy were done, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs were on in half an hour, so we hung around inside the main stage for awhile, shopping, drinking from the free water hoses, etc. And then Karen O, Nick Zimmer, and Brian Chase took the stage. I’d missed out on their performance at Sasquatch, and I got a SECOND CHANCE. When I saw that they joined the lineup, and literally jumped for joy. Literally.


I’m SO FUCKING GLAD I got to see them, because no one’s energy can rival that of Karen O’s. An Nick has got to be the coolest person ever. He’s like the living representation of a Tim Burton character. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more perfectly coifed hairstyle. It’s like a cross between Robert Smith’s crazy ‘do and RPattz’s unkempt mess. That’s the only way I can describe it. But they were A-MAZING. Everything from “Date with the Night” to “Skeletons” to “Maps.” It was all good. Karen O has got the most inexplicable voice though – you got her melody drawl in “Maps” and her almost orgasm in “Date with the Night.” That’s kinda what it sounds like. But again, it was all AMAZING. Before they started playing “Maps,” and we all knew it was coming, because Nick switched to an acoustic, but before they started playing, Karen O was like, “this song is about love. Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Seattle – Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Seattle – love.” And she put her hand over her heart. It was both an “aww” and a “rock on” moment at the same time. And to top it all off, the crowd was great too. We were all dancing and crowd-surfing at 2:30 in the afternoon. They should have been the headliners instead of Jason Mraz, that’s all I’m saying.

After the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, we went and got some lunch from the Magic Dragon inside the center house, while tiny chicks danced to the Jonas Brothers in the kid’s pavilion. It was weird. I told Libby, “it will be the end of days when the Jonas Brothers are playing Bumbershoot.” Hehe.


But then I realized that my camera’s batteries were dying. I kept the camera off for awhile, but then noticed that I didn’t have the amount of power in my batteries that could take pictures during the Vivian Girls and Jason Mraz. So before the Vivian Girls even started, I got my hand stamped, quickly walked down to OfficeMax on Mercer to pick up some batteries. It only took me twenty minutes total, so I made it back in time to catch most of the Vivian Girls’ set. They were pretty good. Great album, not a lot of energy, so Libby got bored. But I got some good pictures. And you could really tell the difference in the crowd from yesterday’s Broad Street performers Matt and Kim and Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head to the Vivian Girls on sunday. Not a lot of brightly colored pants on sunday. But anyway. Libby was bored, so we left before they ended to go shopping for a bit and to wait in the stand-by line for Patton Oswalt. We met these two guys and this lady names Melinda. It was funny, because one of the guys – Ian – had a couple chinese symbols tattooes on his arm, he was wearing “Southpole” gear, and had just gotten another chinese symbol in the black henna (which is really bad for you.) So I figured he was a douchey frat boy. But no, we all got into a nice conversation waiting in line, and he’s a theater guy, who was just in Fiddler on the Roof. It was weird, but my sister and I were pretty sure he was trying to hook up with Melinda’s daughter because Melinda was asking him about contacts for her daughter for modelling and acting. He told her a couple people’s numbers, but then was just like, “here, give me my number.” Melinda was pimping out her daughter, unknowingly. Haha.

Once it was time for everyone to pile into the Charlotte Martin theater, the security guy counted off the standby line, and literally, it cut off right after us. We just barely made it in, and I was so thankful, because Tommy Johnagin and Patton Oswalt were so fucking funny I almost pissed myself. Patton’s set was a lot of the stuff from the album he just released, but I didn’t care. I’d already had a great couple weeks of funny, and this was a nice way to finish off the laughter. I didn’t end up seeing any other comedians on monday, but that’s okay.


Back to the music. So Jason Mraz wasn’t bad. He really wasn’t. He started out kinda boring. I really only went because Libby wanted to go, and I wanted to make her happy. It took me awhile to get into the music, because it was really chill and kinda slow – again, I questioned the scheduling. But the ladies LOVE Jason Mraz. All the chicks standing around me went NUTS for him. But in all honesty, musically, he’s really good live. Like a younger, hotter version of Dave Matthews, but not headliner-of-Seattle’s-biggest-music-festival-good. It just didn’t fit. But once he got into the more up tempo songs, and a cover of Lionel Richie’s “All Night Long,” I got into it. I was dancing, chatting it up with the girl next to me, singing along. It ended up being fun. Not any insane moshers, that’s for sure.

NOPE, THAT’S WHAT MONDAY’S FOR:

Monday, another rainy day. And this day started out a lot rougher than the previous two days. We arrived about an hour later than we had been, and our trusty parking garage was all full. It was those damn Black Eyed Peas that filled our garage. So I drove around for 20 minutes looking for parking, temporarily parking in a $9 garage before realizing that it closed at 6:30. WTF? So I drove some more before settling on the $15 at the Fisher Plaza, where we parked last year. It wasn’t empty, but not super full, so I was satisfied.


I got there just in time to see Say Hi, which was one of the bands I REALLY wanted to see. And I ran into Jenn, one of my WAS buddies from the interwebs. Say Hi was good, and I got some fine pictures. I just love the lyrics Eric Elbogen writes, about vampires, Star Wars, it’s so random, and so funny. The bassist, I think his name was Andy, was pretty damn hot. Eric said at the beginning, “Andy, ask me something.”

“Um, why did you change your name?”

“Something that doesn’t put me on the spot. Dangit, two gigs and you’re already screwing up!”


Apparently, he was new to touring with Say Hi, which used to be Say Hi To Your Mom. I don’t know why they changed their name, but I’m glad they did, because Say Hi To Your Mom is a mouthful. I especially loved “Sweet Sweet Heartkiller,” one of the songs off “Impeccable Blahs,” which was all about vampires. Hehe. OMG TRUE BLOOD! Wait, stay on topic.

Libby was volunteering monday, so she didn’t get to see anyone until Franz Ferdinand that night, and Laura showed up, which I wasn’t aware of until sunday. It was nice, because I didn’t really have a lot of people to hang out with, and having Laura there, even if she was feeling low, helped. But I didn’t actually get to see Laura until after Mirah, who was AMAZING live. I walked over there by myself, which was okay, because her music is a very personal, organic experience. With such a tiny voice, comes such an interesting, powerful energy. She had everything from the violin to the clarinet to some crazy sitar-looking thing in her band. And at the beginning, this was pretty funny.

“I wore this shirt, it’s from 1985, from when we used to wear half shirts. Remember half shirts? Now it’s kind of like a quarter shirt.”


It made me laugh. But Mirah has such a beautiful instrument, and I could tell by the way people just shut up on the lawn. That was the kind of performance you had to be quiet to enjoy. I’ve come home to download even more of her stuff.

I think I might have rushed through the last bit of this, just to get to the bit about FRANZ.


Okay. Franz. We got in line quite early, and still the main stage was uber crowded when we got in there. Laura’s foot was hurting, so we sat for a little bit before I ventured down into the mosh pit 15 minutes before they went on stage. I made me way as close as I could get without being rude and shoving people out of the way. I don’t like being rude. But once they started, I didn’t even care anymore. I was dancing, and shoving people, but then again, so was everyone else. Started out with “No You Girls,” then “Dark of the Matinee,” then I can’t even remember what order everything else went in. The security guards sprayed us all with water because people were getting out of hand. They needed us to chill, but nobody chilled. I think it was “Bite Hard” next. I don’t even know.


All I know it that Alex Kapranos is a GOD. Good lord does he have a sexy voice. It’s been 5 years almost since I saw them at the Key Arena, and this was SO MUCH BETTER. The Key Arena sucks for live shows. But Alex, Nick, Bob and Paul all jumped on stage, all energetic and fantastic, and I don’t even care if I’m sounding like an uber fangirl right now. I’m allowed to, aren’t I?

Halfway through their set, my feet were starting to ache from jumping so much, and “This Fire” started, and we all started jumping. You couldn’t not rock out to “This Fire.” All of a sudden, I felt a sharp THWACK on the back of my head. I’m not sure if it was the guy’s head or his foot that hit me, but I could barely make out a floating body above my head as I tried to un-dizzy myself, holding into my throbbing head. At that point, I tried to make my way out of the mosh pit, but it was useless. So I kept dancing. I didn’t care if I had a concussion, it was FRANZ! Five minutes went by, I was still having fun, but my head hurt like a MOTHER. So I gave into the pain and squeezed my way out of the pit, afraid of getting clobbered by another crowd surfer.

But then I couldn’t find Libby or Laura, and started freaking out. My head hurt, I was missing the band I’d come to see, and I didn’t know where the fuck my sister was. Eventually, I found them, and they tried to get me to go see a medic, because I overreacted and said I might have a concussion.

Libby: “Are you dizzy?’

Me: “No.”

Libby: “Are you okay?”

Me: “Yes.”

Libby: “Are you overreacting?”

Me: “Maybe.”

Libby: “Are you telling the truth?”

Me: “Probably.”

Libby: “She’s fine.”


And I took a swig of water from the free water refills booth and danced for the rest of the set in the middle of an open area next to this old guy with a fisherman’s cap on. I was contact high, and it was marvelous. I didn’t even care that my head hurt, I had a good amount of air by then, which is what I was missing in the middle of the mosh pit. But what was so cool – at the end, the finale of Franz, they played an extra long version of “Lucid Dreams” with the electro outro. Libby and Laura and I were doing everything from the electric slide to the macarena to random raving dance moves – and I’ve never even been to a rave.

It was so awesome I didn’t even care that I couldn’t stay for Modest Mouse or Metric because Libby had to be to school the next morning.

It was just…awesome.

❤ Abby

And…I’m moving to Sweden RIGHT NOW.

16 Aug

I posted something recently expressing my newfound guilty pleasure in True Blood.

And I must tell you, it has only gotten STRONGER. Holy crap this show is awesome. I literally finished the rest of season 1 one on tuesday night, and didn’t go to bed until 3 am the next morning. The next day, wednesday, I watched the first four episodes of season 2, and thursday, episodes 5-8. For me, it’s almost better to wait until the end to watch all the episodes in one shot, so it feels like one super long movie.

What’s so awesome about season 2 – well, there are a few things, but I’ll get to Alexander Skarsgard, or ASkars as he’s affectionately called on ONTD and other blogs, later. I love that the story keeps getting stranger and stranger. First season – you have vampires and Sookie’s telepath-ness, and this season, we find out for sure that Sam is a shapeshifter…and then there’s Maryann. Ooooo, do I hate Maryann. She’s a maenad, which in laymen’s terms means that which brings out the evil in everyone – anger, greed, violence, and lust. It was actually really awkward as I was watching one of the episodes onDemand where Maryann was having one of her crazy black-eyed orgies with all the people of Bon Temps, and my Dad walked downstairs. Yeah…Maryann makes people black out, get wasted, sodomize trees, and beat up their mommas. I just wish that people would get a clue about Maryann. No one but Sam and Andy have seemed to figure out that Maryann is BAD.

Urgh.

But the real reason I wrote this post – ASkars.

Look at this man.

I know I said before that BILL was the best vampire ever. I stand corrected. I should have watched season 2 before making that statement, because Eric Northman, ASkars character, is SOOOO much better. I sound like a silly pop culture fanwhore, but I’m fine with that.

I actually just stumbled upon a post on ONTD where they listed the hottest vamps in pop culture, and for some ridiculous reason, Robert Pattinson has almost half of the votes, where the sexy Nordic Adonis has a mere 20%. Sad face. I’m just glad that people appreciate stories about real vampires, not like vampires exist, but vampires based on old myths, that kill people, and burn in the sun, and apparently have magic vampire Viagra that makes human libidos go crazy. Rather than stories about vampires trying to hide the fact that they’re vampires, who refrain from biting people, and don’t sleep in coffins or in the basement during the day. If I’m going to get into a vampire story, I want the vampires to be vampire-y.

I prefer slutty, 1000-year-old Viking vampires to angsty, teenage ones who wear pea coats and have bouffants.

That’s all I’m saying.

I mean, he’s damn hot.

❤ Abby

Why in the world did I not watch True Blood last season?

2 Aug

I seriously have no idea.

First of all – it’s from the writers of Six Feet Under, which automatically gives it a one up on the other things on television. Second of all – cable trumps network. And the third and final reason why True Blood is awesome – the vampires have fangs, bite people, and don’t sparkle.

I’ve tried watching a couple episodes of this season, but I couldn’t really get into it without watching any of season one. So I downloaded season one the other day, and I CAN’T STOP WATCHING IT. I finally know why people are so obsessed with it. I will admit, it has a few of the same qualities that Twilight has – the naive girl falling for a vampire, and feeling the taboo from her peers, yadda yadda yadda. But the True Blood vampires are certainly not chaste.

I mean, there’s a lot of sex. A lot.

But most of it isn’t from the vampires, but from Jason Stackhouse (Ryan Kwanten). He’s a slut. In the first three episodes of season 1, he was having sex with 2 different women, and both of them died after they fucked Jason.

I don’t really mind that he’s a slut, since he’s damn attractive.

I mean, look at him.

I’ve watched 4 episodes so far, and I’m already hooked. Bill Compton could not be a more perfect vampire. He’s not a cocky ass like most vampires, but he’s not a pussy like Edward Cullen. And I just love that Stephen Moyer, the actor who plays Bill, is British. He pulls off a Civil War-period New Orleans accent so well. Tara is awesome, and Sookie is just the right amount of adorable and annoying. I mean, for television, you don’t want to like the main character all the time, but you don’t want the main character to be too grating, either. But I just looked up the Emmy noms again, and for some ridiculous reason, True Blood isn’t nominated. WTF? Sure, most of the shows nominated for drama are cable shows, but to not have True Blood in the nominees it just blasphemy. But then again, I don’t think the Emmys are as keen on too much sex. It could be considered gratuitous to some mild-minded voters. Hopefully the Golden Globes will give True Blood its due nomination.

I, for one, don’t have a weak constitution for violence or sex on TV. I’m kind of like a dude that way. Most things don’t shock me in television or movies. But if you crave danger in your TV, WATCH True Blood. If you don’t get HBO, I STRONGLY recommend downloading it online, or renting season one. Seriously.

I figure, since the only thing on television right now that I’m watching is Big Bang Theory reruns and Big Brother, and my British television shows don’t start until winter, I figure I have a new show to watch on my own time, whenever I want to, on my computer screen.

Yay for sexy and dangerous vampires who DON’T sparkle.

❤ Abby

We’re living in Canned Heat

30 Jul

In that we can’t escape it.

This butter was left out for a few hours last night in our kitchen. Seriously. It was cold in the refrigerator before we put it in the bowl.
_MG_6443

It’s making my mother, my uncle, and myself incredibly claustrophobic. Today isn’t nearly as bad as yesterday, and the day before that, but it’s still frustrating and at times – scary.

It was at least 101 in GH yesterday. Triple fucking digits. I mean, seriously. With over 70% humidity. I could literally FEEL the heat. The moisture in the air made the heat even more unbearable. Mom, Libby and I even took a drive up to Port Gamble where the weather was a good 30 degrees cooler, and wind. Then we took a drive over to Point No Point in Hansville, where we spent a whole lot of our childhood. I gotta tell you, it’s the saddest thing to see something that was such a big part of my youth go to waste. Vic, the guy who has run the place since my parents used to go there when they were teens, let the state buy Point No Point, and hire him to “run it.” Really, all they are doing is paying him to live there. He’s doing nothing. The boat launch in nonexistent, only a few rails still jetting out of the water, and a lone dock attached to nothing, so no one can actually stand on it. The boat house is deserted, the gate is always closed, even though it says “public beach,” and it is unrecognizable from what it was when I was a kid. The cabins next to the lawn are dilapidated, with the foundations falling apart to where no one can take a step in without crashing through the floorboards.

It’s shameful, and disgusting that the state legislature let that happen to such a nice place.

I took some pics to show how much Vic let it go.

Here’ the lonely dock.

What’s left of the boat launch.

Those flower beds used to be herring bins.

The cabin.

The cabin’s foundation.

Public access my ass.

It’s really sad.

And it’s really hot. I’m just excited that I’m getting my lens in a little over a week. I’m bidding on some old polaroid film since I found an old Polaroid camera at the Goodwill the other day for $4. It’s pretty awesome.

I’m watching Tyler Florence, and he’s making slopping joes and butternut squash chips with Parmesan cheese, so I’m gonna go now.

❤ Abby

Potter?….SIR?

15 Jul

Okay, okay, okay. I’ll keep this brief and I’m quite tired since I’ve been up for almost the past 21 hours. Long day. Doctor in the morning, epic Harry Potter movie at midnight.

Needless to say I’ll be back tomorrow for a more coherent, well thought-out, nourished, awake blog completely reviewing the film on its cinematic traits as well as its book-loyal traits. Right now, I’m just too flipping high on adrenaline.

I’ve been waiting for this movie for 8 months too long, and Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince has finally come. And can I say that it was well worth the wait. I mean, I didn’t cry when Cedric died, but I nearly weeped tonight when… well, you know. Anyway, the theater was packed. Smelly dudes sat in front of us, and my sister had to pee for half of the movie.

I’m hella tired, but it was awesome, and FINALLY Harry got some real action. *Brown chicken brown cow* And Slughorn is the greatest addition to the movies since Lupin. Needed more Lupin and Tonks, and Fred and George, but that’s what the next two films are for.

HOLY CRAP ONLY THE 7TH MOVIES ARE LEFT.

Oh god. Then it will be over. It’s been two years since the 7th book came out on 7/7/07. I almost can’t contemplate how I’ll feel when this is all over. Ten years of my fucking life this series has been apart of it. I remember in the 5th grade, everyone was reading the first 2, and my friend Scott finally started reading it and told me that I HAD TO READ IT. Mom went to Costco and bought me the 2nd one before the 1st one. I started reading and was all, “WTF” or back then it was “WT HECK.” Anyway, I was confused, and then Scott took off the cover and told me I had the wrong one, so Mom went and bought me the first one. I read through the first 2 faster than I have any book. 3rd one came out when I was in Minnesota that summer. 4th one that next year. 5th one 8th grade. 6th one 10th grade. 7th one right after I graduated. Ten years. Wow. I don’t think I’ve even liked a band for that long, at least one that I became infatuated with, like I did with the Calling when I was 14, or WAS now.

Anyway, it was amazing. Finally us Potter peeps can take back the fandom crown.

Potter>>>>>Cullen

Night.

❤ Abby

We get it Michael Bay, you do ‘splosions.

24 Jun

I went and saw Transformers 2 last night, and I can say that I’ve never seen a more crowded midnight premiere, ever. Not even Twilight.

I must say that I was pretty excited. I’m not gonna lie. And my excitement was met quite pleasantly for the first half of the movie. I was completely happy with the first half of the movie. The story moved at an acceptable pace, new characters were introduced and there was just the right amount of epic robot battles. But at about 1:30 am, it went down from there.

Director Michael Bay gets a lot of shit for his special effects-heavy, plot-light movies. That is true. Most of his movies can be quite self-indulgent in the SFX department. However, the extent of his talent in CGI pays the bills. I was glad that he added new Autobots to the mix, twins Skids and Mudflap, as well as Jetfire, an old-timer former Decepticon. He was my favorite – as he was perceived as an old rickety British man from way back when. He added history to the Transformers, which is the one thing missing from the last movie. And there were still our old favorites Bumblebee, who was even more endearing in this film, Ironhide, and Optimus Prime, of course. This is where Bay went right – adding more personality to the robots. Mudflap and Skids’ annoying banter almost made it seem like they weren’t robots. In this film, it helped that the robots were more than just robots because it made the audience more connected with them when the U.S. military decided to scrap their operation, Nest. For once, the aliens were the good guys.

Although the robots were given more personal stories, the time left for Sam, Mikayla, Sam’s family, and the new tagalong Leo was far too short. If I could have counted how long their characters were developing compared to the length of time they were running, it would have been grossly unbalanced. We see Sam in college all of one day, and the short time we get to spend with Leo before shit hits the fan makes him seem so trivial and expendable throughout the rest of the movie. And I did like that they brought back Jon Turturro’s character. He was the one who always seemed to be the voice of wisdom.

I’m a little confused about Rainn Wilson’s role though. It was such a short and almost waste of the cameo that when he came on screen, people’s reactions to his presence in the film were just as short. What a useless presence of a good actor.

From what I did see of Sam and Mikayla’s developing relationship, the chemistry is there. It had all the right elements – but there just wasn’t enough of it in comparison to the length of the film.

That was the main problem I had with the movie. Transformers is one of the only action franchises that I truly enjoy because of the complexity of the Autobots visual construction as well as the fact that they are based on Hasbro children’s toys. It’s a guilty pleasure. But Transformers 2 was way too long. Like, WAY too long. The movie started at midnight and we didn’t get home until about 3 am. And the theater is 10 minutes away from our house. Count the 10-15 minutes of previews, and you got a 2.5 hour movie. Granted it isn’t nearly as long as any of the Lord of the Rings movies or a few of the Harry Potter movies, but Michael Bay could have easily cut out 20 minutes at least of robots fighting and explosions. Dude, we understand that you are good at SFX. But seriously, there was so much rendering of CGI that even some of the hardware exploded during post-production. I was actually constantly looking at my watch for the last 45 minutes wondering when we were gonna get to the final bits of the movie. Specifically, the sequence where Sam and Mikayla were running about 2 miles to get to Optimus was the most grating. They run, things explode, they run some more, robots fight, Josh Duhamel shoots things, they run, more things explode, and still – they run.

In all actuality – Transformers had all the right elements. More background for the Autobots, humor, new characters, Shia Labeouf’s fine self, and Megan Fox’s fine self for the guys, and pretty cool special effects – but Michael Bay needs to get his priorities straight. Calm down with the huge explosions. I know you were using the IMAX to your advantage, but giant battling robots and epic warfare gets a little old. More plot, less eye-candy.

It’s almost like porn, but instead of titties and blowjobs, you have giant transforming alien robots battling it out in the middle of the Egyptian desert.

❤ Abby

Full of fail

1 Jun

It’s the last week of classes. Officially. And I have a parking ticket I have to pay off, pick up two paychecks, apply for a job somewhere, finish an essay that I’ll be lucky to get a 3.0 on, finish editing the article that I did all by myself (but technically with a group), and all of this within 4 days, and in 80 some odd degree weather. I could be outside, but my laptop screen is never visible in the bright sunlight, and it’s too hot towards the end of the day.

This weekend has been…interesting. I did most of the layout for the Ledger this issue, which I don’t mind, because I took the pictures and it wasn’t that hard and Alexis had a documentary to finish. But I’m pretty sure we only had one article with actual quotes, and 5 more articles that are some sort of opinion. And the rest are blurbs to go along with photos – lots of photos. Yesterday, I didn’t even go into the office. I just worked on the pages from home with Izzie. I kind of wish I did go in yesterday because I left the other half of my Subway sandwich in the fridge, as well as my cupcakes.

Speaking of cupcakes! My birthday was mediocre, at best. I spent 4 hours by myself in the office, filling out job applications, after Alexis did get me cupcakes. I went home to a fantastically hideous cake that Libby made.

It was supposed to be Trogdor from Home Star Runner in green frosting, but they decided to put massive amounts of sprinkles on it too. It was tasty, though. Daddy made salmon for dinner, as well as rice pilaf and corn on the cob. My favorite meal. So dinner was perfect. But lo and behold – Andrea’s tendon was fucked up so she couldn’t leave her house, Laura was in Arizona, and Cassie was in Tacoma. And Libby decided to go to a scary movie that night with Chandler. But – alas! – I still had Pushing Daisies to look forward to on ABC. I know I’ve already seen the last three episodes, but I wanted to see it one last time, on television, for one last hurrah.

And yet again, ABC fucked me on my birthday. KOMO4 decided to air a four hour telethon that night for Children’s Miracle Network from 7-11. Pushing Daisies was supposed to be on at 10. They couldn’t have picked any other day? Not an hour earlier? ABC already shat on Pushing Daisies and gave the final three episodes the worst time slot imaginable – although still in primetime – 10 pm on saturdays. CBS moved Harper’s Island to that spot when it failed miserably on thursdays against Private Practice and Southland. ABC didn’t dignify PD with a respectful sendoff, and KOMO4 decided it wasn’t even important enough to air. I hate network affiliates. We’ve learned about television enough this quarter in Coon’s class that I know now that I hate network affiliates. Just show what the networks give you during primetime. It does you no good to show hometown stuff during primetime. People just change the channel.

I know it’s terrible that I’m pissed that KOMO4 showed a telethon raising money for Seattle Children’s Hospital, because I was diagnosed there, but ANY OTHER DAY! Any other time! Fuck it was annoying, because that was the one thing I was counting on for my birthday – the first of the final three episodes of the greatest television show you won’t get to see. Wonderfalls is a close second.

Needless to say, I was pissed.

You know what else was full of ultimate fail – the MTV Movie Awards. Like, seriously. I only watched the fucking thing for Andy Samberg and Kings of Leon at the end. I didn’t expect to see Eminem get teabagged by Sacha Baron Cohen. I didn’t expect to see Kristen Stewart drop her popcorn award, or Kiefer Sutherland break down and cry for Ben Stiller. Okay, that last one was planned, but still. I didn’t expect to see Leann Rhymes and Chris Isaak and Forrest Whittaker sing a “Jizz in my pants/lazy sunday/dick in a box/motherlover” medley, but that was awesome. As was Andy and Will Ferrell’s homage video to cool guys walking away from explosions. I’ll admit, that was funny. But these awards are the biggest joke. To the highest extent. Twilight – a BAD movie – won almost every award it was nominated for, against Slumdog Millionaire and Frieda Pinto and Dev Patel, and even against the fight between Danny McBride, Seth Rogen, and James Franco. And the kiss between Paul Rudd and Thomas Lennon in I Love You, Man. I knew Slumdog wouldn’t win best movie because, let’s be honest, it’s tweens voting, which is why Tisdale and Efron won for HSM, but I kept voting for Dark Knight. At least maybe a good movie could win, the second-highest grossing film of all time deserved something. But what was the worst and most WTF award of the night (no, not the WTF? Award given to Amy Poehler), was when Miley FUCKING CYRUS won best song from a movie, even against Paramore with “Decode.” I know Slumdog or the Boss wouldn’t win, but at least dignify Paramore with a win over Slutty Cyrus.

Ugh, MTV. You fail. No, it’s not MTV per say. MTV VIEWERS – YOU FAIL. At least Kings of Leon made the night better, but I don’t think any venue will surpass the Columbia River Gorge. Even though they were on TV, on MTV. Please Caleb, Jared, Matthew, Nathan – don’t sell out. I’m getting quite tired of hearing Use Somebody by now, so start planing Notion. Please. What would have been awesome last night was if they planned on playing Use Somebody and then busted out with Charmer or My Party. That would have been EPIC.

So, in the words of someone I follow on Twitter I can’t remember who – if the MTV movie awards tell us anything, it’s that the teens of america demand a film about chaste vampires staging a school musical.

In other news – I can’t stop listening to Fireworks by Animal Collective. I frakking love that song. Listen to it. And I’m quite excited for “It’s On with Alexa Chung,” because mostly I’m hoping it’s the same show that WAS was in the pilot for. And I’m hoping Alexa brings some British flair to MTV, because that is what it’s currently lacking. I’ll watch that show, if Alexa gets cool guests (LIKE WAS!). What else – oh – HARRY POTTER COMES OUT IN 6 WEEKS!

I’m done now.

❤ Abby

Look at this fucking winner

20 May

I’m going to talk about American Idol again. Deal with it.

I jacked this from a comment on Oh No They Didn’t because it made me literally laugh out loud.

I knew it. Mom knew it. I loved Adam. I really did, and I honestly didn’t care. But last week, Mom called it. When Danny got voted out, his votes went to Kris. That’s all there is to it, because Kris is an all-around appealing artist. With Adam, you either liked him or you didn’t. And if you liked Adam, you voted for him the whole season. If you were a Gokey fan up until he left, you probably voted for Kris in the end. Last night was a pretty good finale though – I mean, Kiss? Hello! Pretty fan-fucking-tastic. My friend Cassie almost shit her pants when Kris sang with Keith Urban, because she was like “he should sing country!”

She’s a country uber-fan.

I’m not, as one might have been able to tell by now.

And the We Are The Champions at the end was so joyous. At that point, neither Adam nor Kris cared who won, because they got to sing with Queen. And after the show ended, my mom was like “OMG ADAM’S GONNA TOUR WITH QUEEN NOW!” That would be pretty damn badass.

And I just fucking love Norman Gentle. That was pretty awesome when he jumped up on the mini stage behind the judges and gave Ryan his glasses and headband. Ryan’s gotten exponentially more appealing since the beginning. I swear. Last night, when Bikini Girl (uuugggghhhhh) got up on stage, my sister was like “she’s covered in skin cancer!” And fake tits. “I was going to ask you what’s new, but I think I know.” Haha, good one Ryan.

Allison and Cyndi Lauper sounded wonderful together, even as Cyndi was sitting with her legs spread wide open during the entire performance. She’s so cool still.

But no one could outdo Carlo Santana. That was quite awesome, and he’s still as fantastic as he was 30 years ago, whereas Rod Stewart is looking pretty old and ragged. Carlos can still rock.

I just listened Kris’s recorded version of “No Boundaries,” because I just felt like it, and it’s not as bad as it was the first night I heard it.

I love Kris’s reaction, every time. He’s got to be the most humble winner ever.

I remember reading a comment somewhere where Kris and Adam should be the poster-children for acceptance and friendship. They couldn’t be more different, yet they are such good friends.

Oh, and I can’t forget the obligatory pic.

Ugh, Kara.

❤ Abby