Full of fail

1 Jun

It’s the last week of classes. Officially. And I have a parking ticket I have to pay off, pick up two paychecks, apply for a job somewhere, finish an essay that I’ll be lucky to get a 3.0 on, finish editing the article that I did all by myself (but technically with a group), and all of this within 4 days, and in 80 some odd degree weather. I could be outside, but my laptop screen is never visible in the bright sunlight, and it’s too hot towards the end of the day.

This weekend has been…interesting. I did most of the layout for the Ledger this issue, which I don’t mind, because I took the pictures and it wasn’t that hard and Alexis had a documentary to finish. But I’m pretty sure we only had one article with actual quotes, and 5 more articles that are some sort of opinion. And the rest are blurbs to go along with photos – lots of photos. Yesterday, I didn’t even go into the office. I just worked on the pages from home with Izzie. I kind of wish I did go in yesterday because I left the other half of my Subway sandwich in the fridge, as well as my cupcakes.

Speaking of cupcakes! My birthday was mediocre, at best. I spent 4 hours by myself in the office, filling out job applications, after Alexis did get me cupcakes. I went home to a fantastically hideous cake that Libby made.

It was supposed to be Trogdor from Home Star Runner in green frosting, but they decided to put massive amounts of sprinkles on it too. It was tasty, though. Daddy made salmon for dinner, as well as rice pilaf and corn on the cob. My favorite meal. So dinner was perfect. But lo and behold – Andrea’s tendon was fucked up so she couldn’t leave her house, Laura was in Arizona, and Cassie was in Tacoma. And Libby decided to go to a scary movie that night with Chandler. But – alas! – I still had Pushing Daisies to look forward to on ABC. I know I’ve already seen the last three episodes, but I wanted to see it one last time, on television, for one last hurrah.

And yet again, ABC fucked me on my birthday. KOMO4 decided to air a four hour telethon that night for Children’s Miracle Network from 7-11. Pushing Daisies was supposed to be on at 10. They couldn’t have picked any other day? Not an hour earlier? ABC already shat on Pushing Daisies and gave the final three episodes the worst time slot imaginable – although still in primetime – 10 pm on saturdays. CBS moved Harper’s Island to that spot when it failed miserably on thursdays against Private Practice and Southland. ABC didn’t dignify PD with a respectful sendoff, and KOMO4 decided it wasn’t even important enough to air. I hate network affiliates. We’ve learned about television enough this quarter in Coon’s class that I know now that I hate network affiliates. Just show what the networks give you during primetime. It does you no good to show hometown stuff during primetime. People just change the channel.

I know it’s terrible that I’m pissed that KOMO4 showed a telethon raising money for Seattle Children’s Hospital, because I was diagnosed there, but ANY OTHER DAY! Any other time! Fuck it was annoying, because that was the one thing I was counting on for my birthday – the first of the final three episodes of the greatest television show you won’t get to see. Wonderfalls is a close second.

Needless to say, I was pissed.

You know what else was full of ultimate fail – the MTV Movie Awards. Like, seriously. I only watched the fucking thing for Andy Samberg and Kings of Leon at the end. I didn’t expect to see Eminem get teabagged by Sacha Baron Cohen. I didn’t expect to see Kristen Stewart drop her popcorn award, or Kiefer Sutherland break down and cry for Ben Stiller. Okay, that last one was planned, but still. I didn’t expect to see Leann Rhymes and Chris Isaak and Forrest Whittaker sing a “Jizz in my pants/lazy sunday/dick in a box/motherlover” medley, but that was awesome. As was Andy and Will Ferrell’s homage video to cool guys walking away from explosions. I’ll admit, that was funny. But these awards are the biggest joke. To the highest extent. Twilight – a BAD movie – won almost every award it was nominated for, against Slumdog Millionaire and Frieda Pinto and Dev Patel, and even against the fight between Danny McBride, Seth Rogen, and James Franco. And the kiss between Paul Rudd and Thomas Lennon in I Love You, Man. I knew Slumdog wouldn’t win best movie because, let’s be honest, it’s tweens voting, which is why Tisdale and Efron won for HSM, but I kept voting for Dark Knight. At least maybe a good movie could win, the second-highest grossing film of all time deserved something. But what was the worst and most WTF award of the night (no, not the WTF? Award given to Amy Poehler), was when Miley FUCKING CYRUS won best song from a movie, even against Paramore with “Decode.” I know Slumdog or the Boss wouldn’t win, but at least dignify Paramore with a win over Slutty Cyrus.

Ugh, MTV. You fail. No, it’s not MTV per say. MTV VIEWERS – YOU FAIL. At least Kings of Leon made the night better, but I don’t think any venue will surpass the Columbia River Gorge. Even though they were on TV, on MTV. Please Caleb, Jared, Matthew, Nathan – don’t sell out. I’m getting quite tired of hearing Use Somebody by now, so start planing Notion. Please. What would have been awesome last night was if they planned on playing Use Somebody and then busted out with Charmer or My Party. That would have been EPIC.

So, in the words of someone I follow on Twitter I can’t remember who – if the MTV movie awards tell us anything, it’s that the teens of america demand a film about chaste vampires staging a school musical.

In other news – I can’t stop listening to Fireworks by Animal Collective. I frakking love that song. Listen to it. And I’m quite excited for “It’s On with Alexa Chung,” because mostly I’m hoping it’s the same show that WAS was in the pilot for. And I’m hoping Alexa brings some British flair to MTV, because that is what it’s currently lacking. I’ll watch that show, if Alexa gets cool guests (LIKE WAS!). What else – oh – HARRY POTTER COMES OUT IN 6 WEEKS!

I’m done now.

❤ Abby


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