Leave it to Lady Gaga to DIE on stage

14 Sep

I figured since I’m SUCH a music fan, I may as well write about the VMAs last night, even though MTV has ruined so many things over the last few years.

But I must admit, bravo MTV, bravo. Last night’s awards show was awesome. It had scandal, a sexy host, some funny bits, and the performances – OH THE PERFORMANCES!

I’ll start with the scandal, because it is, of course, what everyone is talking about. This is the first and only time I can say that I was “on Taylor Swift’s side.” I don’t enjoy her music. She can’t sing live for shit, and I just don’t dig country. But she’s adorable, she writes her own songs, and she’s for sure a better role models for teenagers than Miley Cyrus who dances on poles in daisy dukes. So even I was disgusted when she went up to accept her award for Best Female Video and thank everyone, and lo and behold, here comes the duke of douchebags, Kanye West.

“Taylor, I’m happy for you, you can finish in a minute, but Beyonce had one of the best videos of ALL TIME!” And he hands her back her mic and they show Beyonce in the audience like “what the fuck is he doing? Good god I’m so much classier than he is.” Awkward pause, then cut to Tracy Morgan and Eminem’s Best New Artist bit, laugh laugh laugh, commercial, come back to Russell Brand’s sexy ass trying to keep the show going after Kanye’s head exploded with so much douche.

Thankfully, Kanye was “escorted” out of the theater after the incident. But that’s the nice way of saying that the producers kicked him and his bald-ass famewhore girlfriend out of Radio City Music Hall.

I mean, look at these whores.


And I LOVED it whenever they announced Kanye as a nominee for anything after that, people booed. You don’t hear a lot of booing from MTV audiences, because god knows they aren’t critical of anything really, but it was fantastic. I actually booed on my couch at home. And I again clapped when Beyonce, the queen that she is, won the award for video of the year, and she brought Taylor back out to have her moment. It was so classy.

I’m just excited to see Kanye on Leno’s new show tonight, because it will be so AWKWARD. Haha, Kanye, you just lost SO many fans.

I’ll just reiterate how HOT Russell Brand looked last night. He lost the nest on the back of his head, and traded it for a top hat. In fact, he probably lent the nest to Gaga. Nevermind.

Again, I clapped after the Michael tribute. Sure, Madonna’s speech was a little weird, bringing the attention back to her in some weird way, but the mashup of all the videos and the dancers and when Janet came out and danced right next to the video of her brother, it was very cool, and very much like how MTV used to be.

Honestly, last night’s awards reminded me of back in the early 2000s before the VMAs started to suck. Having the Michael tribute open the show was the only way to do him justice after the BET Awards utterly failed at remembering him earlier this summer. Way to go, MTV. Way to go.

Something just dawned on me, I was looking through pictures from the VMAs, and do these two dresses look similar to you? >>>

Ouch. I mean, the dress is fierce, but that really sucks for both of them.

Sorry, I got sidetracked for a minute. Mom really liked the Eminem/Tracy Morgan bits about the best new artist award. But really, you put Tracy Morgan with anyone, and it’s funny. But I just love him Eminem seemed so earnest – it was hilarious. And for sure, the right person won. HELLO GAGA. And at the end – this was awesome – she ended with “this is for god and the gays!”

Eminem’s face is priceless in that picture.

How could she not win after a performance like that. Leave it to Lady Gaga to die on stage. It was fantastic. And I know some people think she’s a freak, but come on, really? If she wasn’t talented, sure you can say that. But she is so talented. And I generally don’t like pop music, but I would love to see her live. Her mashup of Poker Face and Paparazzi was one of multiple great performances of the night.

Let’s see, you’ve got Gaga.
Then Beyonce.
Green Day.
Taylor Swift (even though she was lip-syncing).
Jay-Z with Alicia Keys.
Katy Perry’s really doesn’t count because she was introducing Russell with a Queen cover.

They were all awesome and creative. Pink on a trapeze, Taylor Swift dancing in the Subway, Jay-Z and Alicia’s tribute to NYC two days after the 9/11 anniversary, Billy Joe crowd-surfed during Green Day’s performance, Beyonce had a ton of ladies doing the single ladies dance, and then there’s just Muse. You don’t even need a qualifier of why they’re awesome. But I was so pleased with the performances, like it’s kind of ridiculous how much I enjoyed it. There was no Miley to be found, people weren’t ogling over Coldplay like they did at the Grammys, and Matt & Kim won for Breakthrough Video for “Lessons Learned!”

What I loved about the Muse performance was that it wasn’t in Radio City, it was in the Walter Kerr theater across the street, a smaller theater, which meant that it was more intimate for the people watching, and those people were genuinely Muse fans, not just people who came to the VMAs to see everyone else. And at this point, I’m not so mad at Muse for possibly being on the New Moon soundtrack, because if that means they tour here more, I’m happy. Sure, I wish it was for a better movie, but at this point I’ve given up caring so much.

But I did hear the new Death Cab song “Meet Me On the Equinox,” and guess what? It’s not that good. I actually feel kind of vindicated.

It was so hilarious when Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson came up on stage to introduce the “extended trailer” for New Moon. All the little chickies in the audience jizzed in their pants, and screamed their faces off. And to honest, Taylor almost looked better than RPattz last night. And Kristen’s mullet is ridiculous. And RPattz was totally drunk. He was slurring his words, whatever small amount of words he had to say.


And I’m not sure whether or not that dress is working on Kristen. She needs more boobs and less mullet. And christ is she pale. Taylor looks like a completely different color palette standing next to those two translucent “lovers” as the gossip mags are calling them. Blech.

But I will say, this second movie looks way more entertaining than the first one. I’m guessing there will be less longing stares and bad makeup. I’ll probably go see it just for the laughs.

I think I’m done now. I think I’ll go listen to more Muse. <3<3<3

❤ Abby


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