Two days ago, I found out that one of my new favorite bands, Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head had joined the Perez Hilton tour with Ladyhawke and Semi-Precious Weapons, and I was so freaking excited. As much of a twat Perez Hilton is, he puts together a rad tour. Yes, I just said rad.
Rad is common slang of the 80s, and last night made me feel like I’d jumped back into the 80s, with the tweaky intros Perez put together and the synth-heavy music all night.
Well, Semi-Precious Weapons weren’t synth-heavy, but you can see how I felt like I was in the 80s.
I hadn’t heard much of them before last night, and I was pleasantly surprised how much fun I had. They were great openers, bringing the room’s energy up to the highest degree at multiple points, especially during lead singer Justin Tranter’s banter between songs. He sweared profusely, and at one point, he shouted “cunt!” multiple times, because he said he “couldn’t give up saying it.” And of course when he changed his clothes on stage. From one pair of tights and crazy heels to another pair of tights and crazy tights. As my friend Laura said, his junk was everywhere in the tights. It was quite an eyeful. But the music wasn’t bad. It was like heavy 80s glam rock with hints of Chris Crocker. My favorite track was “Magnetic Baby,” but that’s all I can remember really right now. The guitarist was pretty wicked, and the bassist was ridiculously spazmatic. I didn’t know any of the music beforehand, and most of the people there weren’t there to see them, so it wasn’t nearly as energetic had the crowd been full of SPW fans. It was a good way to get the show going though, as a majority of the people at the show were there to see Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head.
They are Seattleites, after all.
And they were technically the reason I drove down to Seattle last night not knowing if there would be tickets. Ida Maria cancelled last week, and they filled in for the remainder of the tour. And I didn’t want to buy tickets for one artist that I wanted to see. But TWO bands that I really wanted to see? That’s worth buying tickets and paying for fucking Seattle parking. I swear to god, I’m never driving when I live in Seattle.
But I will say right now, a friend of mine told me after Bumbershoot that NPSH was way better in smaller venues and that they sucked at Bumbershoot. Now, I don’t agree with the latter statement, but I will verify the first statement. They are SO much better in small clubs. But then again, most bands are. Intimate stages always make everything better. There was this guy standing behind us – I’ll call him Plaid Guy – but he was hilarious. When NPSH were setting up their instruments, he kept shouting at Luke, “Shaun! Shaun!” I tapped him and was like, “I’m pretty sure that’s Luke.” Then he felt all stupid and said, “that’s why he’s not listening to us!” Apparently, Plaid Guy REALLY wanted them to play Bedroom Costume, which wasn’t on the setlist that had already been taped to the floor. So when Claire came out to set up her synth, Plaid Guy yelled, “put a synth here!” And when Claire put her synth right in front of us, he thanked her profusely and was all “I love you!” And almost demanded they play Bedroom Costume. And lo and behold, the third song in, Shaun prefaces the song with, “we’re gonna play this one for those guys over there.” And Plaid Guy went apeshit crazy.
They’re all grainy because I had to use macro close-up for my Coolpix because I didn’t get a pass to bring in my nice camera. Oh well. It was great just the same.
But the best part was during Beard Lust, Shaun said something like “are you guys ready to dance? This guy looks ready!” And they asked people to jump up on stage for a dance off. Or just a big fat dance party. I didn’t feel like tripping over things, and my feet were slightly achey, plus, this way I could get pictures of the dance party.
Yeah, it was pretty sweet.
My mom thought it was weird that I’d seen Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head twice in one month. Sure, Bumbershoot was like 3 weeks ago, but I don’t really care. It was totally worth it, and mom hasn’t been to a show in like…at least ten years. Except the stupid concerts I went to when I was 13, and when she and Dad drove to the Gorge to see the Eagles. Twice. So she has no room to talk. She’s seen the Eagles multiple times, and those concerts cost like a shit ton.
After they finished “Iceage Babeland,” I was fucking BEAT. My feet hurt, I was hungry, I was thirsty. I would have been satisfied going home right then with what we’d already seen, but WAIT! We had yet to see Ladyhawke, the headliner to Perez’s synthtastic tour.
Her setlist. Plaid Guy grabbed the setlist in front of us too quickly for me to grab it. Oh well. She was still awesome, and she had an adorable guitarist with the strongest prescription glasses I’ve ever seen. I swear to god. Honestly, the crowd was quite a bit smaller for Ladyhawke, mostly because a lot of the NPSH fans had to leave because they had homeroom in the morning. It was an all ages show, after all. The beginning of Ladyhawke’s set was strikingly different than the two previous acts, because people were more just listening to the music and grooving to Ladyhawke’s smooth beats rather dancing their ass off. It was a great vibe, even though I knew people were tired. The songs sounded awesome, and Ladyhawke’s crazy eyes helped. She does make some crazy eyes. Nobody really danced their ass off until she played her last two songs, “Paris is Burning” and “My Delirium.” Those were fun songs.
She’s just so cool.
After the show was over, Laura and I were going to try and get a picture with some of NPSH, but we were tired, and I was afraid that I’d fangirl all over them and be a freak. I feel like I need to meet a band that I like, but am not crazy about first to warm up to meeting actual artists. I really need to get over that if I’m going to a music journalist. Seriously, I can’t get all fangirl-y every time I meet a band, and it’s unprofessional to be like, “can I have your autograph?” or “can I get a picture with you?”
Sheesh. I’m a dork.
BUT I just found the most amazing pictures of NPSH on Flickr. SO JEALOUS of people who get press passes. Literally, I have barely any control over what kind of photos I take with the coolpix.
This has nothing to do with DC comics. Or chocolate milkshakes. Although I did have a glass of chocolate milk this morning.
Nevermind. I just figured that’s one of the songs I’ve been listening to for the last few days that has the most extraneous title. From Art Brut vs. Satan. It’s been that album, Erasure’s Greatest Hits, La Roux, Boy Kill Boy, Editors, and Phoenix – that haven’t left my ears. And of course Muse. You can’t forget Muse. And I have been listening to AFI, mostly just because I reviewed their new album, “Crash Love,” which isn’t that great, BTW. I reviewed it HERE. Hopefully my La Roux review will be up in the next couple of days. Other than music, I’ve just been at school. And you know that school hasn’t started yet, right?
Yeah. The first issue of the Ledger always takes the most willpower to not procrastinate. We had two separate orientations last week, a freshmen lock-in, and lots of layout. And not the mention the fact that there are 6 of us. For most of last week, there were only three of us, as the other three of us were in Europe somewhere. I wish I could go to Europe. Seriously, if I win the lottery, or somehow get a huge amount of money, I’m putting some of it away to keep me out of debt once I’m off my dad’s medical insurance, and taking the rest of it to go to England, Germany, Scotland, and Sweden. And possibly Italy. But I’m pretty sure there’s a higher ratio of people in the four latter nations that speak English rather than in Italy. I like understanding what people are saying, so Italy’s a question mark at this point. But they do have the best food. Hmm…
Anyway!
OH MY GAWD I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT PREMIERE WEEK! Holy balls. Okay – monday: Big Bang Theory was AMAZING. Raj + beard = <3. And Leonard + Penny = <3, even if they had awkward sex. How I Met Your Mother was so much awesome, I don't even want to go into it. I'll just say that it made me really happy that new television is back. Speaking of new television, Accidentally on Purpose was pretty cute, as was Jon Foster. Damn, he's adorable. Hopefully people liked it, because I'd like for it to stick around. I'm sick of Two and a Half Men. We need a new and fresh comedy on monday nights. After the laughter came…well, some more laughter and other stuff with Castle! Uh, I was so excited when it go picked up again, because Nathan Fillion always needs to be on television. He's too good just to be on cancelled SciFi shows and internet sing-along blogs. Um. Nothing good on tuesday. Wednesday was GINORMOUS, with new Criminal Minds (Gubler broke his leg!) and CSI:NY (Danny can't walk!), and Top Chef and America's Next Top Model started a couple weeks ago. But I was happy that Ashley on Top Chef was in the top again. I'd really like to go to her restaurant in Seattle one day, but I've heard that she moved to Brooklyn, which is kind of depressing, but whatever. What else?
OH FUCK. Thursday. Thursday was the day I was so damn anxious for it was kind of ridiculous. New Office, 30 Rock, SNL Weekend Update Thursday, and Grey's Anatomy. Let me tell you, I'm glad I waited to watch the comedy shows after Grey's Anatomy, because I needed something to suppress my tears, because there were a lot. Literally, there was on-and-off tears for the first hour, and at the end of the second hour, more tears came. I, being a Grey's fangirl, reacted differently had I not been so involved in the characters. It didn't make my mom cry. And to be honest, retrospectively, the premiere was not that good. It should have been just an hour. Two hours was too jumbled, and had too many storylines that had nothing to do with George's death. As my mother said, "ER would have never done that!" referring to a couple scenes that were incredibly disrespectful towards George's memory. Sure, George is a fictional character, but it's not that like it's been 2 seasons and he's dead. He's been there since the beginning, and this is season 6! They should have had one other patient storyline and left all the sexytime drama to next week. It wasn't fair, and it didn't seem to honor George at all. I know it was messy departure for TR Knight, but Shonda could have at least done the character justice in his death. The only character that seemed to speak of him not in this distant manner was Owen, who told George's mom how much of a hero he was, and how he was a great doctor. And Callie was the only one who seemed to react completely appropriately. Yes, I know Izzie just died and woke up again, and she's kind of a nutbag right now, but laughing at the funeral? Gain some tact, Shonda. And Bailey was completely void of emotion that you almost forgot it was Bailey. So I guess I was crying for two reasons – 1: George is actually dead now; and 2: He didn't get a proper sendoff, and as a diehard fan, that hurts.
Okay, enough of Grey's talk. You probably don't care.
Now, onto Saturday Night Live. Wow, this is turning into a tv-centric post. Oh well. I'll just mention a few things – Megan Fox was great, "Arkansas: where being pregnant doesn't even stop you from getting pregnant," and this:
HAHAHA. I frickin’ loved it, but who knows what the FCC will do. But what’s weirder is that we’re on the west coast feed. I’d understand if they missed it in the midst of all the friggins and freakins on the east coast feed, but they have three hours to catch that to bleep it out for our timezone. Sounds like someone at NBC will be getting in trouble, not Jenny Slate, who sadly enough, wasn’t all that funny – and this sketch was her DEBUT. Yeah, way to mess it up. Hopefully she won’t get in too much trouble, as I’d like to give her a second chance. But like always, Kristen Wiig was on top of her game, not even missing a beat after the f-bomb. Love her.
Oh, and guess what starts in three months??? SKINS! I saw some new pictures from the series 4 set, and I’m so anxious. Without True Blood, what else will fulfill the naughty factor for my television viewing other than Skins?
Oh Freddie, you’re so sexy.
Guess what my mom did yesterday? I burned a photo disc with all the pictures from last weekend for my uncle who’s leaving today for california. I told my mom to write his name and what’s on it on the CD. I got home from layout last night, and she told me that she wrote on the silver side. It’s a pink disc. She wrote on the wrong side. The side that the laser reads. Wow. I literally almost pissed my pants I laughed so hard. Then I grabbed her hand to slap it because she’s so dumb sometimes. And the dog got up like I was hurting her. She stared me in the face like, “don’t you touch her!” Millie does that if anyone hits any of us. Or if we dance.
Now back to music, because it’s mah laahf (yay Sookie Southern!) I found out YESTERDAY, that Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head, this band:
is gonna be at the Showbox at the Market tonight with Ladyhawke:
Yes, THAT Ladyhawke. And Semi-Precious Weapons, which I haven’t heard much of, but they aren’t bad. I hate Perez Hilton, but he puts together a killer tour. Apparently, NPSH filled in for Ida Maria last week when she had to leave the tour. That’s why I didn’t hear about this until now, and I REALLY REALLY REALLY wanna go. It’s $23 at the door. Hopefully everything goes well and I drive up to Seattle tonight for a dancetastic finale to my summer. How perfect would that be? Go see an awesome show and possibly meet NPSH and Ladyhawke, then start school! And it’s an all-ages show! Which is something the Art Brut show didn’t have, which made me very sad last week. But what DID make me happy was when I mentioned something to Eddie Argos on his twitter page about it, and he tweeted me back! I’m such a fangirl. But I’m okay with that.
I’m just shaking in my boots with excitement!
Now I think I’m done. See, I told you this one would be random. Yay tangents!
Not sure why I was just speaking in Sookie Stackhouse Southern, but I felt like saying something more interesting that “my hair looks like shit,” and I miss True Blood already.
But right now I REALLY need to get my hair done. I seriously haven’t had a professional cut or color my hair in…well…two years in January. Libby’s been cutting it and she and I have been coloring it. I’m cheap, okay. Sue me.
I love my red hair. I do. It’s different and awesome and makes me stand out, but I’m lazy. Back when I went red, I was still puffy and bulgy from the prednisone, and I needed something to distract from my huge face. But now my face isn’t huge anymore. And I don’t like grow out. And I’m cheap. So I figure if I can get back to my natural color, I won’t have to worry about nasty grow out that makes me look cheap. (I never said I wanted to look cheap, I said I was cheap.)
But my dishwater blonde roots are about an inch right now, not such a good look. Really, I was walking by the copy center at UWT today, and noticed my glowing side part in my reflection. My dishwater blonde almost looks gray. Seriously. I don’t have the brightest or most vibrant shade of blonde, so even the faded red looks so ridiculously saturated against my natural color.
For the past few weeks while my roots grew, I’ve been trying to figure out what path to take to get back to my natural color without turning orange. Wigs and the Natalie Portman look were out of the question right off the bat, so that left color. I thought about stripping the color, but I’ve dyed it so many times that the orange would inevitably happen. Today, I gave into the idea of highlighting over time. At first, I was worried that the red grow out would still look wonky and incredibly tacky, but then I realized that if we do lots of highlights on top, basically covering up the roots with the first set of highlights, it might work. I think it might actually look kinda cool, like a tone on tone blonde red thing, but not too drastic like the highlights emo kids get. I’m just tired of my hair. That is the one thing in my life that I can stand changing a lot – my look. Not that it’s that important, but it’s easy to change. And just as easy to change back. Unfortunately, the red isn’t quite as easy to change back from than if I was a natural brunette and went blonde.
Oh, and btw.
This isn’t the haircolor I want. It’s the haircut I want.
I don’t know where I came upon a picture of this girl, because I don’t watch Soap Operas, but I think I typed in random search words and her picture came up. But do you think this haircut will work?
I don’t want to have straight hair, because it’s a bitch to manage and too time consuming to straighten. My hair is naturally big and wavy. The way I wear it now – that’s how I manage it.
But I’m diggin the cut, I just need to buy a smoothing creme and a curl activator.
So…when it came to the awards themselves last night, I was quite disappointed – except for Kristin Chenoweth winning for Best Supporting Actress for Pushing Daisies. My dearly departed show got some recognition.
And Kristin looked fierce in her mirrored mini. LOVE HER.
For the most part, everything was very lackluster, semi-expected. Alec Baldwin won for 30 Rock, Glenn Close won for Damages, Brian Cranston won for Breaking Bad, The Daily Show and the Amazing Race won (I was hoping for Project Runway or Top Chef). Blah-dee-blah Toni Collette was the only newcomer to the awards, with a win for Lead Actress in a comedy series for her Showtime series United States of Tara.
She looked quite nice too.
Even though Alec Baldwin beat out Jim Parsons (Sheldon Cooper) and Jemaine Clement, he deserved it – because he’s freaking Alec Baldwin. But the only award I was actually mad about was Supporting Actor in a comedy series. First of all, Michael Urie wasn’t even nominated, which is WRONG. And second, Jon Cryer won. Neil Patrick should have been a shoo-in. He and Jon Cryer actually had a funny bit of banter when Jon was in the press room.
“How does it feel, Jon?”
“Oh, it feels great Neil.”
It went on longer than that, but I can’t remember exactly what they said.
But he was a damn good host, kicking the night off with a great opening number urging us all to not change the channel. Overall, the awards this year were much better than last year when all the reality hosts hosted the Emmys. They kinda sucked. And Jeff Probst actually made a joke of it when he accepted his award for best reality host. “This is how you host the Emmys,” he told NPH as he pointed his award to him.
I especially loved when Dr. Horrible hijacked the Emmys during the explanation of the Emmy voting procedure. Nice touch.
I was a bit saddened that Flight of the Conchords and Saturday Night Live didn’t win any team awards, but I did dig that the Emmy voters chose Tina Fey and Justin Timberlake to win Guest Actor awards for SNL. I mean, no one can beat Tina’s Sarah Palin.
The In Memoriam portion of the show made both Mom and I tear up, because there were so many people on that list – Bea Arthur, Patrick Swayze, Farrah Fawcett, Walter Cronkite, and Michael Jackson, among many others. And Sarah McLaughlin singing along with it made it even sadder. But it was one of the best moments of the entire broadcast.
Grey’s Anatomy didn’t win anything – again. Neither did the Office. Basically Mad Men and 30 Rock won EVERYTHING. And rightly so, as they were nominated the most. I was keeping my fingers crossed for Lost to win over Mad Men, but I really need to watch that show. I’ll have to download the first season, because I can’t go on being the TV fanatic that I am without watching the Emmy-winning drama series two years in a row. But I was SO EXCITED that Michael Emerson won for Supporting Actor for Lost. I mean, he’s the creepiest character on television. How could he NOT win?
Now to the fashion. I musn’t leave it out.
Heidi looked so freaking fierce at 8 months pregnant it was ridiculous.
Not too school-bussy, Jennifer Love Hewitt’s dress popped against the red carpet.
Sigourney Weaver is 59 years old. Seriously.
I looooooved the neckline here on Ginnifer Goodwin. I wish I could wear a neckline like that.
It’s almost uncanny how much Angela (from the Office) does NOT dress like Angela Kinsey. And this dress made her look much taller than she is. Stunning.
Damnit, woman. You’re the same age as my mom for crying out loud. Julia Louis-Dreyfus, how come you’re so fabulous?
Kaley Cuoco looked so glamorous, and up on stage with her nerdtastic co-stars, it was perfect.
I already mentioned how great Kristin Chenoweth, NPH and Toni Collette looked, so now I’ll mention the fashion that was less than stellar.
Kristen Wiig looks awesome, but the dress looks like it belongs in the Empire Strikes Back.
What the hell Leighton? How come you looked fashion-forward at the VMAs last weekend, but looked old and drab with way too dark lipstick at the Emmys. Just because you’re not surrounded by tweens doesn’t mean you have to dress like you’re 50.
Because Padma has a perfect body, I wouldn’t have a problem with the dress if it didn’t have that wonky patch of red flowers on her hip.
Ack. What and WHO is that?
Not the time, not the place. And besides, it’s basically a sheet wrapped around her torso.
Your husband outdid you, Kyra. This mauve, flower-appliqued dress made you look old.
Jeanne Tripplehorn’s dress was terribly unflattering on her figure, and a bad shape plus tons of sequins equals just bad.
And I forgot to say how ridiculous Patricia Arquette looked.
This post was kind of jumbled, but I’m sick and my head isn’t completely clear.
When I was a young lass, I’ll admit I enjoyed “How You Remind Me.” And perhaps the song “Hero” from the first Spiderman soundtrack. But then again, I used to wear skirts over jeans and couldn’t eat green vegetables without hollandaise sauce. Now I know better – steamed broccoli is delicious, skirts over jeans look utterly ridiculous, and Nickelback sucks major ass.
I’ve avoided this subject long enough, because I made myself not change the radio station when a Nickelback song came on today while I was driving home. The song was called “If Today Was Your Last Day.” Now, it sounds like a perfectly acceptable idea for a song. Living your life to the fullest, telling everyone that you love them, and bungee jumping – if that’s what you care to do before you die. But in song form, you’d figure a band would bring new ideas to the subject, eloquently and creatively addressing “your last day.”
Nope.
These are some of the lyrics. Seriously.
“Against the grain should be a way of life
What’s worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts ’cause there’s no second try
So live like you’re never living twice
Don’t take the free ride in your own life”
–“If Today Was Your Last Day”
Could they have included any more cliches in one stanza? They might as well have sang “carpe diem” if that’s the direction they were going.
I think I can truly say that those are some of the worst lyrics I’ve ever heard. At least “do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips” is creative. It’s retarded, but you’ve never heard someone say that before 3OH!3 sang it. Nickelback just sucks on all levels.
First of all – all the songs sound the same. Go HERE. It proves my point. There’s no hook, nothing original, nothing worth remembering, and surely nothing worth covering. At least seriously. WAS did a cover of “Rockstar,” but they did it to be ironic. And for some reason, Nickelback has slowly morphed from a late-90s pussy rock band to a late 00s douche rock band. My dad, bless his heart, actually purchased a Nickelback album a few years back – and it was the one with the dirty sexist song “Figured You Out.”
“I love your lack of self-respect
While you’re passed out on a deck.
I love my hands around your neck.”
Really? That’s disgusting. Way to fail, Nickelback.
And again, with “Animals.”
“You’re beside me on the seat
Got your hand between my knees
And you control how fast we go by just how hard you wanna squeeze
It’s hard to steer when you’re breathing in my ear
But I got both hands on the wheel while you got both hands on my gears
By now, no doubt that we were heading south
I guess nobody ever taught her not to speak with a full mouth
‘Cause this was it, like flicking on a switch
It felt so good I almost drove into the ditch”
I don’t necessarily have a problem with sexual metaphors. Lil Wayne’s “Lollipop” is outrageously blatant, but the analogies aren’t LAME. Who compares their member to gears?
Nickelback doesn’t even try to look the part anymore. At least Chad Kroeger used to have the blonde jesus/curly Cobain look back in 2001. Now in all their videos, they’re rocking tight shirts and straightened, groomed coifs. What kind of rock band is that? They look more like a country group than anything else. And I’m sure with how shallow the lyrics are – they would appeal to country fans more than rocks fans. As well as naive tweens who wouldn’t know Joe Perry even if he performed on the VMAs with Katy Perry. Oh right, he did. No 13-year-olds, Joe Perry isn’t Katy’s dad or uncle – he’s in fucking AEROSMITH.
But back to Nickelback. They’re the epitome of prepackaged, commercialized radio “rock.” It’s sad that they are the picture of what is palatable to the American mainstream. Are they even remotely popular around the world? I don’t know, but from how long they’ve been around in America, it shows that people are still buying their records. What’s the point? It’s the same shit that was on the last album. On their Wikipedia page, the genres listed are: hard rock (LOL), post-grunge (such a vague genre, but I guess it fits, because Creed is listed as post-grunge, and they suck even harder), alternative rock (no, Weezer is alternative rock. WAS is alternative rock. Nickelback is NOT alternative), and alternative metal (Tool is alt metal. Fuck you, Wikipedia.)
I feel like Wikipedia shouldn’t sugarcoat it and just describe Nickelback like they are – douche rock, commercial crap, prepackaged rock.
I know I’m not going to convince every fan that Nickelback are the Dukes of Suckingham, but I’m okay with that. Just as long as I find each and every one of them and stifle their record-buying abilities in some way, we will have won. If no one spends money on the crap, Nickelback will eventually go away into the oblivion that Creed currently rules.
I figured since I’m SUCH a music fan, I may as well write about the VMAs last night, even though MTV has ruined so many things over the last few years.
But I must admit, bravo MTV, bravo. Last night’s awards show was awesome. It had scandal, a sexy host, some funny bits, and the performances – OH THE PERFORMANCES!
I’ll start with the scandal, because it is, of course, what everyone is talking about. This is the first and only time I can say that I was “on Taylor Swift’s side.” I don’t enjoy her music. She can’t sing live for shit, and I just don’t dig country. But she’s adorable, she writes her own songs, and she’s for sure a better role models for teenagers than Miley Cyrus who dances on poles in daisy dukes. So even I was disgusted when she went up to accept her award for Best Female Video and thank everyone, and lo and behold, here comes the duke of douchebags, Kanye West.
“Taylor, I’m happy for you, you can finish in a minute, but Beyonce had one of the best videos of ALL TIME!” And he hands her back her mic and they show Beyonce in the audience like “what the fuck is he doing? Good god I’m so much classier than he is.” Awkward pause, then cut to Tracy Morgan and Eminem’s Best New Artist bit, laugh laugh laugh, commercial, come back to Russell Brand’s sexy ass trying to keep the show going after Kanye’s head exploded with so much douche.
Thankfully, Kanye was “escorted” out of the theater after the incident. But that’s the nice way of saying that the producers kicked him and his bald-ass famewhore girlfriend out of Radio City Music Hall.
I mean, look at these whores.
Ack.
And I LOVED it whenever they announced Kanye as a nominee for anything after that, people booed. You don’t hear a lot of booing from MTV audiences, because god knows they aren’t critical of anything really, but it was fantastic. I actually booed on my couch at home. And I again clapped when Beyonce, the queen that she is, won the award for video of the year, and she brought Taylor back out to have her moment. It was so classy.
I’m just excited to see Kanye on Leno’s new show tonight, because it will be so AWKWARD. Haha, Kanye, you just lost SO many fans.
I’ll just reiterate how HOT Russell Brand looked last night. He lost the nest on the back of his head, and traded it for a top hat. In fact, he probably lent the nest to Gaga. Nevermind.
Again, I clapped after the Michael tribute. Sure, Madonna’s speech was a little weird, bringing the attention back to her in some weird way, but the mashup of all the videos and the dancers and when Janet came out and danced right next to the video of her brother, it was very cool, and very much like how MTV used to be.
Honestly, last night’s awards reminded me of back in the early 2000s before the VMAs started to suck. Having the Michael tribute open the show was the only way to do him justice after the BET Awards utterly failed at remembering him earlier this summer. Way to go, MTV. Way to go.
Something just dawned on me, I was looking through pictures from the VMAs, and do these two dresses look similar to you? >>>
Ouch. I mean, the dress is fierce, but that really sucks for both of them.
Sorry, I got sidetracked for a minute. Mom really liked the Eminem/Tracy Morgan bits about the best new artist award. But really, you put Tracy Morgan with anyone, and it’s funny. But I just love him Eminem seemed so earnest – it was hilarious. And for sure, the right person won. HELLO GAGA. And at the end – this was awesome – she ended with “this is for god and the gays!”
Eminem’s face is priceless in that picture.
How could she not win after a performance like that. Leave it to Lady Gaga to die on stage. It was fantastic. And I know some people think she’s a freak, but come on, really? If she wasn’t talented, sure you can say that. But she is so talented. And I generally don’t like pop music, but I would love to see her live. Her mashup of Poker Face and Paparazzi was one of multiple great performances of the night.
Let’s see, you’ve got Gaga.
Then Beyonce.
Green Day.
Taylor Swift (even though she was lip-syncing).
Pink.
Jay-Z with Alicia Keys.
Katy Perry’s really doesn’t count because she was introducing Russell with a Queen cover.
And MUSE!
They were all awesome and creative. Pink on a trapeze, Taylor Swift dancing in the Subway, Jay-Z and Alicia’s tribute to NYC two days after the 9/11 anniversary, Billy Joe crowd-surfed during Green Day’s performance, Beyonce had a ton of ladies doing the single ladies dance, and then there’s just Muse. You don’t even need a qualifier of why they’re awesome. But I was so pleased with the performances, like it’s kind of ridiculous how much I enjoyed it. There was no Miley to be found, people weren’t ogling over Coldplay like they did at the Grammys, and Matt & Kim won for Breakthrough Video for “Lessons Learned!”
What I loved about the Muse performance was that it wasn’t in Radio City, it was in the Walter Kerr theater across the street, a smaller theater, which meant that it was more intimate for the people watching, and those people were genuinely Muse fans, not just people who came to the VMAs to see everyone else. And at this point, I’m not so mad at Muse for possibly being on the New Moon soundtrack, because if that means they tour here more, I’m happy. Sure, I wish it was for a better movie, but at this point I’ve given up caring so much.
But I did hear the new Death Cab song “Meet Me On the Equinox,” and guess what? It’s not that good. I actually feel kind of vindicated.
It was so hilarious when Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson came up on stage to introduce the “extended trailer” for New Moon. All the little chickies in the audience jizzed in their pants, and screamed their faces off. And to honest, Taylor almost looked better than RPattz last night. And Kristen’s mullet is ridiculous. And RPattz was totally drunk. He was slurring his words, whatever small amount of words he had to say.
See, SO DRUNK.
And I’m not sure whether or not that dress is working on Kristen. She needs more boobs and less mullet. And christ is she pale. Taylor looks like a completely different color palette standing next to those two translucent “lovers” as the gossip mags are calling them. Blech.
But I will say, this second movie looks way more entertaining than the first one. I’m guessing there will be less longing stares and bad makeup. I’ll probably go see it just for the laughs.
I think I’m done now. I think I’ll go listen to more Muse. <3<3<3
Today is an average day. Mom has work. Libby has a birthday party to go to. All my friends are at their job. I’m dog-sitting, and I at least one television is on at all times.
It’s September 12th. Just over two weeks until school starts, and this summer is not quite over. Contrary to my headline – a lyric from “Summer, Man” off Taking Back Sunday’s new album, “New Again.” But I figure since I’ve had so many things to write about lately, I’d take a day to write just to write.
But I must mention first that my three-part coverage of Bumbershoot is now online at Popwreckoning. They are underneath the featured stories in the slideshow on the top of the page. It’s pretty cool. You should read them, and tell all your peeps to start reading Popwreckoning instead of Pitchfork. If you like reading that kinda stuff.
It’s been a pretty lazy week since Bumbershoot last weekend, and I’m just fine with that. I’ve just been listening to music non-stop. Mostly Franz Ferdinand and Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head. And now after Muse’s album, “The Resistance” leaked two days ago, lots of Muse.
Now I have an idea of what to write about. I’ll make a list of my top songs of the summer. I’ve been really anxious to make the “Best of” list of 2009, but it’s still only September, and there are three months left for some band to release their opus.
10. Letters from the Sky – Civil Twilight
This song was in the 3rd to the last episode of “Harper’s Island,” CBS’ murder mystery miniseries, and Mom thought at first listen that it was U2, but this band from Cape Town is really good.
9. Sink Into Me – Taking Back Sunday
TBS’ new album isn’t bad. It’s really different from their previous albums, which is probably why the title fits so well. But I’m freaking obsessed with this song, and the video of course, because Adam Lazzara has such fabulous hair in the video.
8. Bulletproof – La Roux
I saw her perform on Alexa Chung’s show, and saw pictures from Coachella and All Points West and other things, and was curious. Then Popwreckoning had a remix monday with this song, and I listened to the remixes OVER AND OVER again. It’s a really good dancefloor hit.
7. Ghosts Under Rocks – Ra Ra Riot
And older album, but I discovered them through one of my WAS buddies, can’t quite remember who, and then saw them on the lineup for Sasquatch. Sadly, I didn’t get to see them, but I downloaded the album anyway. I freaking love this song, and especially love to sing along.
6. The Rake’s Song – The Decemberists
This is the only song on the Hazards of Love that can stand along by itself without getting people confused. And it’s hilarious, yet still musically outstanding. Colin Meloy, right now I like you way more than Ben Gibbard. Right now, Death Cab and I aren’t getting along too well. Nevermind.
5. Beard Lust – Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head
Gah, I want to see them again! Sorry. I downloaded this one last year, but I didn’t start obsessively playing it until a few weeks ago when I was gearing up for Bumbershoot. And this song is do ridiculous but awesome at the same time.
4. Crying Lightning – Arctic Monkeys
It’s taken me awhile to warm up to Humbug, but even before I loved all the songs, I loved Crying Lightning from the beginning. Alex sounds so grown up. But then again, all English people sound more mature than Americans, no matter if they’re singing or they’re talking. The accent adds esteem.
3. Bite Hard – Franz Ferdinand
I fucking love them. And right about now, I’m a little sick of hearing No You Girls, even though it’s amazing. And Bite Hard was so good live, and had so much energy after the slow intro. I want to see them again. D:
2. I Don’t Bite (Carol) – We Are Scientists
Not technically on a CD yet, but hopefully Keith, Chris, Max and Andy have recorded it. Holy crap it makes me anxious for the new album. Thank god someone recorded the new songs from All Points West. Live is always better anyway.
1. Brothersport – Animal Collective
Well that was obvious. Saw them at Sasquatch, had brain orgasm, fell in love, listened to over and over and over and over again, danced alone in my car.
It’s wednesday, and I’m a terrible person for not posting this AS SOON AS I GOT HOME MONDAY. But my head hurt and I was tired as hell.
But I’ll try not to go on too long about the bands themselves, because that’s what my articles for Popwreckoning are for. That’s partially why this took me so long, because I was busy writing up my recaps for them. Hopefully, they’ll be up in the next couple days.
I’ll start from the beginning –
SATURDAY:
We started with Katy Perry, mainly because Libby wanted to. I figured I should to diversify who I was seeing that day to include a somewhat comprehensive recap. But surprisingly, the second half of her set was really fun. Sure, I was surrounded by tween girls and horny teenage boys, was weird, but fun enough for 1 in the afternoon, which felt like far too early to really get into anything. And Katy Perry ACTUALLY kissed a girl. It was hilarious, because one of the security guards lifted her up with her explosion of tutu coming from her butt, putting his face in her ass, as she leaned over the front rail to kiss a girl. O.O Scandalous! One of the chicks standing behind me actually shouted, “OMG SHE KISSED A GIRL!” Wow. Shit your pants who don’tchya? Katy Perry did make her way through a cover of Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now,” which was actually quite fun, because I was singing along to that one, only thinking of the scene in Shaun of the Dead when they were all beating the zombie in the pub with pool cues to the beat of the juke box. It was remotely entertaining on her part.
That’s what Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head was for – having fun. Libby hasn’t listened to their stuff, but I dragged her along anyway. I’m SO glad I did, because they were awesome. A friend of ours said they were better the last time he saw them, but I didn’t care what he said. They were so much fun with their infectious songs about sexy facial hair and holding hands in the shower. After that, I really want to hang out with them. Like seriously. They’re basically all my age, and I saw a few of them walking around the festival for the next couple of days, so I contemplating going up to say hi. But I think I need to figure out a way not to fangirl at everything. If I want to be in this business, I have to chill out and not act like a goofy fan. But I will DEFINITELY be going to see them again when they play in town – which shouldn’t be that far off, since they live here.
But really, there’s a song about sexy facial hair – “Beard Lust.” Seriously. AWESOME.
Okay…I can’t remember what happened next. I think we…um…went shopping? No! We went to the Northwest Rooms so I could show Libby the walls I put up in the art galleries. She didn’t find it nearly as cool as I did, but she did sit forever and draw stuff on the walls covered in butcher paper. I can’t draw, so I didn’t find it nearly as amusing. There was this guy posing for people to draw. He was only wearing underwear.
Next was Matt & Kim. Holy crap they were awesome. I didn’t hurt that they were so genuinely happy to be there. I don’t think you could find a more joyous and humble band. Kim did not stop grinning and Matt pumped up the crowd, with the mere instrument of his keyboard. Keyboard and drumkit. That’s all it took to start a huge dance party on the Broad Street lawn. And it rained, quite a bit actually, but it didn’t matter, because after Matt had started the opening riffs for “Daylight” several times, the rain STOPPED. They even broke out into a short homage to “Final Countdown” by Europe. Seriously. It was so much fun, but not too crazy because the crowd wasn’t ginormous that we didn’t get pummeled by crowd surfers. But there were a fair share of those – even in the somewhat small crowd compared to anything the main stage produced. People were throwing tortillas for christ’s sakes! The taco stand was right outside the Broad Street Stage, so it was fitting. At one point, Matt was like, “are these tortillas? Someone must have told you, because tacos are my favorite food. Really all sandwiches.”
So someone threw a sandwich on stage at the end of the set. Really. A wrapped-up sandwich.
We ran into a couple chicks from PHS who got Matt to sign their stomach inside the Center House before we got food. And then we realized I didn’t have my wallet.
Yeah, I didn’t have my wallet. So we used Libby’s money to buy food, got our hand stamped and went out to the car to see if the wallet was there. At that point, we didn’t have main stage passes and didn’t really want to go see anyone else that night, and it was already past 8, so we left and went back to my aunt’s house so I could write about all of saturday’s wonderful festivities.
Oh! I almost forgot! When we were standing around doing…something…in the middle of the walkway that afternoon, THIS GUY and THIS GAL was standing right behind me.
Yeah, I was standing THIS close to THAT amount of famous. I didn’t even say hello, and I felt starstruck. I mean holy balls.
OKAY, SUNDAY:
Now sunday was much rainier than saturday. Like, there were puddles all across the ground at the mainstage, and the steps were slippery, and the ground at the Broad Street stage was soggy. It was WET. But no matter, Cold War Kids were awesome anyway – and again – as it poured down rain, and they started playing “Hang Me Up To Dry,” the rain fucking STOPPED. It was so perfect, yet again. Weather, sometimes you amaze me. But anyway. The crowd for Cold War Kids were very low-key, which wasn’t the greatest, but the band sounded AWESOME. At one point, the lead singer was like, “I see now that the sun’s coming out, clothes are just coming off of people.” That’s what happened. After we all started stripping off our rain jackets and hats, he took off his jacket and overshirt. It was perfect.
When thy were done, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs were on in half an hour, so we hung around inside the main stage for awhile, shopping, drinking from the free water hoses, etc. And then Karen O, Nick Zimmer, and Brian Chase took the stage. I’d missed out on their performance at Sasquatch, and I got a SECOND CHANCE. When I saw that they joined the lineup, and literally jumped for joy. Literally.
I’m SO FUCKING GLAD I got to see them, because no one’s energy can rival that of Karen O’s. An Nick has got to be the coolest person ever. He’s like the living representation of a Tim Burton character. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more perfectly coifed hairstyle. It’s like a cross between Robert Smith’s crazy ‘do and RPattz’s unkempt mess. That’s the only way I can describe it. But they were A-MAZING. Everything from “Date with the Night” to “Skeletons” to “Maps.” It was all good. Karen O has got the most inexplicable voice though – you got her melody drawl in “Maps” and her almost orgasm in “Date with the Night.” That’s kinda what it sounds like. But again, it was all AMAZING. Before they started playing “Maps,” and we all knew it was coming, because Nick switched to an acoustic, but before they started playing, Karen O was like, “this song is about love. Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Seattle – Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Seattle – love.” And she put her hand over her heart. It was both an “aww” and a “rock on” moment at the same time. And to top it all off, the crowd was great too. We were all dancing and crowd-surfing at 2:30 in the afternoon. They should have been the headliners instead of Jason Mraz, that’s all I’m saying.
After the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, we went and got some lunch from the Magic Dragon inside the center house, while tiny chicks danced to the Jonas Brothers in the kid’s pavilion. It was weird. I told Libby, “it will be the end of days when the Jonas Brothers are playing Bumbershoot.” Hehe.
But then I realized that my camera’s batteries were dying. I kept the camera off for awhile, but then noticed that I didn’t have the amount of power in my batteries that could take pictures during the Vivian Girls and Jason Mraz. So before the Vivian Girls even started, I got my hand stamped, quickly walked down to OfficeMax on Mercer to pick up some batteries. It only took me twenty minutes total, so I made it back in time to catch most of the Vivian Girls’ set. They were pretty good. Great album, not a lot of energy, so Libby got bored. But I got some good pictures. And you could really tell the difference in the crowd from yesterday’s Broad Street performers Matt and Kim and Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head to the Vivian Girls on sunday. Not a lot of brightly colored pants on sunday. But anyway. Libby was bored, so we left before they ended to go shopping for a bit and to wait in the stand-by line for Patton Oswalt. We met these two guys and this lady names Melinda. It was funny, because one of the guys – Ian – had a couple chinese symbols tattooes on his arm, he was wearing “Southpole” gear, and had just gotten another chinese symbol in the black henna (which is really bad for you.) So I figured he was a douchey frat boy. But no, we all got into a nice conversation waiting in line, and he’s a theater guy, who was just in Fiddler on the Roof. It was weird, but my sister and I were pretty sure he was trying to hook up with Melinda’s daughter because Melinda was asking him about contacts for her daughter for modelling and acting. He told her a couple people’s numbers, but then was just like, “here, give me my number.” Melinda was pimping out her daughter, unknowingly. Haha.
Once it was time for everyone to pile into the Charlotte Martin theater, the security guy counted off the standby line, and literally, it cut off right after us. We just barely made it in, and I was so thankful, because Tommy Johnagin and Patton Oswalt were so fucking funny I almost pissed myself. Patton’s set was a lot of the stuff from the album he just released, but I didn’t care. I’d already had a great couple weeks of funny, and this was a nice way to finish off the laughter. I didn’t end up seeing any other comedians on monday, but that’s okay.
Back to the music. So Jason Mraz wasn’t bad. He really wasn’t. He started out kinda boring. I really only went because Libby wanted to go, and I wanted to make her happy. It took me awhile to get into the music, because it was really chill and kinda slow – again, I questioned the scheduling. But the ladies LOVE Jason Mraz. All the chicks standing around me went NUTS for him. But in all honesty, musically, he’s really good live. Like a younger, hotter version of Dave Matthews, but not headliner-of-Seattle’s-biggest-music-festival-good. It just didn’t fit. But once he got into the more up tempo songs, and a cover of Lionel Richie’s “All Night Long,” I got into it. I was dancing, chatting it up with the girl next to me, singing along. It ended up being fun. Not any insane moshers, that’s for sure.
NOPE, THAT’S WHAT MONDAY’S FOR:
Monday, another rainy day. And this day started out a lot rougher than the previous two days. We arrived about an hour later than we had been, and our trusty parking garage was all full. It was those damn Black Eyed Peas that filled our garage. So I drove around for 20 minutes looking for parking, temporarily parking in a $9 garage before realizing that it closed at 6:30. WTF? So I drove some more before settling on the $15 at the Fisher Plaza, where we parked last year. It wasn’t empty, but not super full, so I was satisfied.
I got there just in time to see Say Hi, which was one of the bands I REALLY wanted to see. And I ran into Jenn, one of my WAS buddies from the interwebs. Say Hi was good, and I got some fine pictures. I just love the lyrics Eric Elbogen writes, about vampires, Star Wars, it’s so random, and so funny. The bassist, I think his name was Andy, was pretty damn hot. Eric said at the beginning, “Andy, ask me something.”
“Um, why did you change your name?”
“Something that doesn’t put me on the spot. Dangit, two gigs and you’re already screwing up!”
Apparently, he was new to touring with Say Hi, which used to be Say Hi To Your Mom. I don’t know why they changed their name, but I’m glad they did, because Say Hi To Your Mom is a mouthful. I especially loved “Sweet Sweet Heartkiller,” one of the songs off “Impeccable Blahs,” which was all about vampires. Hehe. OMG TRUE BLOOD! Wait, stay on topic.
Libby was volunteering monday, so she didn’t get to see anyone until Franz Ferdinand that night, and Laura showed up, which I wasn’t aware of until sunday. It was nice, because I didn’t really have a lot of people to hang out with, and having Laura there, even if she was feeling low, helped. But I didn’t actually get to see Laura until after Mirah, who was AMAZING live. I walked over there by myself, which was okay, because her music is a very personal, organic experience. With such a tiny voice, comes such an interesting, powerful energy. She had everything from the violin to the clarinet to some crazy sitar-looking thing in her band. And at the beginning, this was pretty funny.
“I wore this shirt, it’s from 1985, from when we used to wear half shirts. Remember half shirts? Now it’s kind of like a quarter shirt.”
It made me laugh. But Mirah has such a beautiful instrument, and I could tell by the way people just shut up on the lawn. That was the kind of performance you had to be quiet to enjoy. I’ve come home to download even more of her stuff.
I think I might have rushed through the last bit of this, just to get to the bit about FRANZ.
Okay. Franz. We got in line quite early, and still the main stage was uber crowded when we got in there. Laura’s foot was hurting, so we sat for a little bit before I ventured down into the mosh pit 15 minutes before they went on stage. I made me way as close as I could get without being rude and shoving people out of the way. I don’t like being rude. But once they started, I didn’t even care anymore. I was dancing, and shoving people, but then again, so was everyone else. Started out with “No You Girls,” then “Dark of the Matinee,” then I can’t even remember what order everything else went in. The security guards sprayed us all with water because people were getting out of hand. They needed us to chill, but nobody chilled. I think it was “Bite Hard” next. I don’t even know.
All I know it that Alex Kapranos is a GOD. Good lord does he have a sexy voice. It’s been 5 years almost since I saw them at the Key Arena, and this was SO MUCH BETTER. The Key Arena sucks for live shows. But Alex, Nick, Bob and Paul all jumped on stage, all energetic and fantastic, and I don’t even care if I’m sounding like an uber fangirl right now. I’m allowed to, aren’t I?
Halfway through their set, my feet were starting to ache from jumping so much, and “This Fire” started, and we all started jumping. You couldn’t not rock out to “This Fire.” All of a sudden, I felt a sharp THWACK on the back of my head. I’m not sure if it was the guy’s head or his foot that hit me, but I could barely make out a floating body above my head as I tried to un-dizzy myself, holding into my throbbing head. At that point, I tried to make my way out of the mosh pit, but it was useless. So I kept dancing. I didn’t care if I had a concussion, it was FRANZ! Five minutes went by, I was still having fun, but my head hurt like a MOTHER. So I gave into the pain and squeezed my way out of the pit, afraid of getting clobbered by another crowd surfer.
But then I couldn’t find Libby or Laura, and started freaking out. My head hurt, I was missing the band I’d come to see, and I didn’t know where the fuck my sister was. Eventually, I found them, and they tried to get me to go see a medic, because I overreacted and said I might have a concussion.
Libby: “Are you dizzy?’
Me: “No.”
Libby: “Are you okay?”
Me: “Yes.”
Libby: “Are you overreacting?”
Me: “Maybe.”
Libby: “Are you telling the truth?”
Me: “Probably.”
Libby: “She’s fine.”
And I took a swig of water from the free water refills booth and danced for the rest of the set in the middle of an open area next to this old guy with a fisherman’s cap on. I was contact high, and it was marvelous. I didn’t even care that my head hurt, I had a good amount of air by then, which is what I was missing in the middle of the mosh pit. But what was so cool – at the end, the finale of Franz, they played an extra long version of “Lucid Dreams” with the electro outro. Libby and Laura and I were doing everything from the electric slide to the macarena to random raving dance moves – and I’ve never even been to a rave.
It was so awesome I didn’t even care that I couldn’t stay for Modest Mouse or Metric because Libby had to be to school the next morning.
I’ve driven so much in the last week, that I’m all Altima’d out. I’ve spent more money on driving and parking in the last week, it was nice to do something that didn’t take any work or money. Well, driving to Lacey took some gas money, but I haven’t seen any of my friends from SMU in way too long, and I wanted to see a nice, small comedy show. Two weeks ago, the Demetri Martin show didn’t go quite as planned, and I’ve driven up to Seattle a lot this week for volunteering.
Not that I haven’t liked volunteering. I have. Everyone’s really cool – Taylor, Corina, Charlie – I was working with them for the most part the last 3 days of volunteering. And it was nice to work with a smaller group of people, which made it much easier to get to know everyone. Fun times. I might try for an internship next year, who knows? Maybe it will work perfectly for the comm. major.
But that’s not why I wrote this blog tonight. I went down to St. Martins tonight to see Christina, Jacki, Aimee, Amanda, Emilee, Tara, and everyone else. I hadn’t been in… way too long. Since December I think, at least since when everyone was there. I missed them all. A lot. I needed some time at SMU, because it’s relaxing, and fun, and stress-free. And it’s nice to know that people remember me and say hi, even though I was there over a year ago. And to be completely honest, even though I love still going back there for visits, it makes me realize how right I was to leave after a year, and makes me appreciate having privacy, and having UWT.
But again, as you can see by the photo I posted on top, and the headline – the reason for this post is mainly Jeff Dye. His gig was why I went down today specifically to hang out. If I get a free comedy show out of it – it’s doubly awesome.
“Hello Catholics!” Silence. “I really thought that there’d be more Catholics. I have 45 minutes of jokes about Catholics. Hmm…”
Let me tell you, none of the comedians who came when I was a freshman had that big of a crowd. Like, they had to bring in more chairs. And that room is tiny. Like Jeff said, it’s the side room of a building in the middle of the woods that you can’t find. Haha. SMU is kind of inconvenient to get to – especially in rush hour. Jeff made a joke about that too – how ridiculously slow the traffic is coming south on I-5 from Tacoma to Lacey. Fort Lewis and McChord AFB traffic is the WORST. I can’t remember exactly what he said, I just remember thinking – TELL ME ABOUT IT!
It was so much fun. Jeff had a mixture of the bits that I remember from LCS – the gym on ecstasy, guess who – and…interesting banter with the large, albeit small, crowd. Four girls sitting in front – who actually were in charge of booking comedians – kept whispering and talking while Jeff was talking, and every time he caught them, he called them out. It was awesome, but from what I remember, they were annoying as hell when I was a freshman. At one point, Jeff said that he hated them, and he wasn’t going to tell anymore jokes because of them. He just stood up on stage for a few minutes, staring them down, making them feel worse about whispering. Then they said, “we’re laughing.”
“That’s not how people laugh!” (and he motioned the whispering hand signal and laughed ridiculously into his hand) “Oh, you’re not laughing, have some of mine! You don’t laugh into other people’s mouths.”
But my favorite bit, at the least the one where I laughed the most was when he was talking about the huge burly guys at the gym and how they make grunting noises when they lift weights.
“So just to mess with them, I grab a five pound hand weight, because that’s what I’m working with, and go like this,” and Jeff lowered the mic and screamed as he mimed lifting weights. Like actually screamed.
“What are you doing?”
“Oh, I thought we were all making noises….”
I laughed so hard, I almost peed my pants. I actually almost did several times, especially after this one joke about how Unicorns are actually really scary and badass. “It’s a horse, with a horn coming out of it’s head. It should be called a rhinocehorse!” I really had to pee, and I didn’t want to get up during the show, because then I would have been singled out and had to explain that I needed to go to the bathroom. Nah, I just sat and held it. For a good hour and a half. Oh well.
After the show, Aimee, Emilee, Cece and I all asked if we could have a picture with Jeff, and I haven’t felt that short in a long time. He’s so tall. I was actually kind of nervous to ask, because I guess you could say he’s the most famous person I’ve ever met. Waving to Ryan Stiles at a Mariners game when he walked by us doesn’t really count. But I didn’t act all goofy and be like “I follow you on Twitter!” because THAT wouldn’t seem weird at all. He was really cool, and when I told him that I didn’t go to that school, he said, “well that’s what I call cheating.”
I USED to go to that school. I gave enough of myself to that place in one year that I can come anytime I want and enjoy free entertainment.
Hopefully I’ll get to see Jeff’s stand up again, because it’s the kind of stand up you can’t get embarrassed about laughing at. It’s not dirty humor, or low brow, the kind of humor that everyone can enjoy. Now I just wish I could find Jeff’s comedy CD somewhere. It’s impossible to find.
Jeff Dye – you rock. And you’re not an asshole, the “triplets” did need to shut up.
He was really cool, and when I told him that I didn’t go to that school, he said, “well that’s what I call cheating.” 
THIS IS A TANGENT. 