nobody steals from girl scouts

I miss Lemon Pastry Cremes. And when Peanut Butter Patties were still called Peanut Butter Patties, not Tagalongs. What the hell does that mean?

But anyway, I heard a story on the news today, about a guy who robbed a Girl Scout troop outside Safeway. She was an older Girl Scout, like 16, but still – IT’S HORRIBLE. Apparently, it was some short ginger with a goatee in his twenties. At least it’s more descriptive than an average height male in his thirties with sandy brown hair. But really? Who steals from Girl Scouts? You have to be completely desperate and heartless to do that. However, from this horrendous act came something good – the Safeway reimbursed the troop for all the money that was stolen, a radio station donated $1000 to the troop, and apparently some woman off the street gave the girl $100 after hearing about the robbery.

I bet Ginger feels pretty damn stupid now. If I were him I’d kick my own balls.

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Winter quarter is ALMOST over. I have two finals next week, but classes are over. THANK GOD. I was ready to be done with Creative Nonfiction halfway through the quarter. That might be why this quarter seemed so long. But I did have an interesting last day of class. We planned this stupid potluck for thursday; people brought veggies, doughnuts, baklava, and we had nachos. I was in charge of cheese. So I got to the office early, heated up the cheese in the crock pot, and got to class a couple minutes late. I wasn’t about to run across campus with a crock pot full of hot nacho cheese. I opened the door to class, and everyone clapped.

“For the cheese? Well we can’t have nachos without cheese.”

“The cheese too, but no! For this!” And Rachel pointed to the class publication.

Oh right, that thing that I spent hours on. I better get some fucking extra credit for doing that. Beaufort even said it was the best class publication we’ve had yet. Well…duh. I designed it. (LOL the Libertines song “Narcissist” just came on my itunes as I wrote that.) So everyone loved it – except MICHAEL, because his name isn’t ROBERT. I’ll explain. His name is Robert Michael, but he goes by his middle name in class. But I don’t care enough to pay attention, so I just followed what it said on his email, which is ROBERT MICHAEL. How the hell was I supposed to know that he went by his middle name? Oh well. I’m just glad to get out of that class, with all Beaufort’s crazy ass oil pastels, arbitrary grading techniques, and my classmates endless ramblings about either having children at a young age or going to Iraq. I’ve heard it all. I don’t really care anymore.

This was basically my attitude all throughout this quarter:

I just colorized this old photo for my mom to use for a flyer for her store. I like it a lot.

What else?

Oh! I’m heading to Mountlake Terrace High School tomorrow for the WJEA State Convention to judge. I have no idea what I’m judging yet, because Fern never got back to me. I should probably figure that out before I go tomorrow. Jesse Jones is the keynote speaker tomorrow, which I’m actually quite excited for. “Jesse Jones, King 5 News!” But it gets over pretty early in the afternoon, so I’m thinking I’m gonna take a little detour to Seattle on the way home and chill for awhile. There are certain things that I have to do that I haven’t done yet. I’ve never been to Elliott Bay Bookstore (I know, it’s horrible), Easy Street OR Sonic Boom, or Dick’s. Commence with the finger-wagging. But that reminds me – I just found out that the Morning Benders are going to play a free acoustic in-store at Sonic Boom on April 2nd before their show at the Crocodile (their 21+ show). I love them so much I might just drive up to see them. Plus, I have to buy Big Echo, and I’d rather not order it online. And I surely won’t be able to get it anywhere but Seattle.

I almost forgot. I was going to try and stop by the convention center, cause it’s Emerald City Comic-Con tomorrow. I can’t get into anything, but it would still be pretty fun walking around the place. And Leonard Nimoy’s gonna be there. Alexis is gonna go apeshit. It is Leonard Nimoy, after all.

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BEHOLD THE GAGA.

I watched this video this morning, and I didn’t know if I loved it or if I was disgusted with it. But it surely is something to be ogled at. I hate all the product placement though.

OH MY GOODNESS I ALMOST FORGOT.

I haven’t written about American Idol since last year’s finale, but last night was blasphemous enough to make me write about it here. If you don’t really care for AI, avert your eyes and finish watching “Telephone.”

I first have to say how much I hate Kara Dioguardi. She makes me want to…ugh…what’s really bad? Oh, she makes me want to rob a Girl Scout! She is such an attention whore. She just HAS to bring everything back to her. When any of the contestants have sang a song that she wrote, she is always, “when I wrote that song I was thinking about how much this guy….BLAH BLAH BLAH I’M STARVED FOR ATTENTION.” This week she made it even worse, even worse than when she got all hot and bothered after Casey’s first performance (you know, the pretty one?). Wednesday she fucking CRIED after Michael’s performance – the only man of color in the final 12. He said Kate Bush’s “A Woman’s Work,” and she was bawling. I wanted Simon to stab her with his pen right there. Or Ryan to kick her in the head. But that wasn’t what I came to rant about.

The top 12 is bullshit this year. Sure, it’s ten white people and two black people, and that’s it, but three out of the four people who got sent home this week didn’t deserve to.

Katelyn Epperly was bland and inconsistent, so she needed to go.
Todrick Hall had one of the best performances on wednesday with “Somebody to Love,” and I was sure that all the love that Glee has given that song would put him into the top 12, but no. America is stupid,
Lilly Scott was the only one who was consistent and completely sure about what kind of artist she was going to be. And she could sing, with a distinct voice, and she was really cool. She played a gazillion instruments – INCLUDING A MOOG. It really pissed me off that she went home.
Alex Lambert was freaking adorable. Okay, I wanted to chop the mullet off, and he needed a little time to gain more confidence, but he had so much potential and one of the best and most distinct voices there. His departure made me genuinely sad, because he was such a sweet and talented kid.

In my opinion these people should have gone home:

Paige Miles had the WORST performance this week, and she can’t pick a good song for shit. She had a voice, I’ll give her that, but she has no style and no consistency, and no personality.
Aaron Kelly is still getting used to his post-pubescent voice. I like the kid – he’s cute enough, and the country people need something in the top 12, because Haeley Smiles-Alot went home last week (THANK GOD I COULDN’T STAND THAT WHITE BLACK GIRL). It’s only fair for the country fans, but he needs time to grow into his voice. He’s going to struggle in the top 12, guaranteed.
Lee Dewyze needed to go home because as much as Simon seems to love him (I have no idea why), he isn’t special at all. For one thing, he has a shitty taste in music. Last week he said Hinder’s “Lips of an Angel,” which is perhaps one of the worst songs ever, and this week he did a heavier guitar-laden version of “Fireflies” by Owl City. Where the hell does he get his taste? From bad adult-alt radio. Apparently none of the judges listen to anything but pop radio, but Lee’s voice is like EVERY OTHER rock-lite band out there. Hinder, Shinedown, Nickelback, Theory of the Deadman, 3 Doors Down – they all suck ass. He’s a nice enough-looking guy, and I can understand why America likes him, because America likes Nickelback, but that doesn’t make it good.

Ugh. I’m really angry with this final 12. Crystal Bowersox better kick some ass. And Lacey Brown better figure out what kind of songs she wants to sing, and Siobhan Magnus better stay awesome. Andrew Garcia better get his shit together and pick some good songs, because the judges have been picking him apart these last few weeks. Other than that – I was glad that Tim Urban made it into the top 12, because he worked really hard to get there, and he did a bang-up job on “Hallelujah” on wednesday. It takes some balls to do that song, especially cause the judges were giving him such shit up until then. Ellen even got up on stage and gave him a hug. “I have to do this,” she gets out of her seat and rushes up to the stage, “that was fanTAStic!” And she hugged him. I was adorable. And he’s quite adorable too.

There’s a rabbit living in our yard. I left a carrot out for it earlier, and Millie started chasing after it when I let her and Lucy out to pee. Naturally, Lucy hasn’t been able to focus on anything other than sniffing out that rabbit when I take her outside. She’s easily distracted. But she’ll be here until tomorrow, so she’ll be sleeping in my bed tonight. I swear, I’m her second favorite person in the whole wide world. And she’s my second favorite dog in the whole wide world, although sometimes I like her more than Millie.

They’re both sleeping on the floor. It’s adorable.

Goodnight.

❤ Abby