the grammys are like the lame relative that still uses cassette tapes and dial-up

30 Jan

And every other recognition in music up-to-date, at least using CDs and wireless internet.

Okay, that may have been a lame analogy, but I went and checked the list of the Grammy nominations this morning just to refresh my memory for tomorrow’s awards. Sorry, Grammys, but you’re out of touch. You’ve become lamer and lamer for the last few years, but this year you’ve succumbed to record sales. I swear it’s like the record execs are blowing all the Grammy voters.

Record of the Year:
Halo – Beyonce
Poker Face – Lady Gaga
You Belong with Me – Taylor Swift
Use Somebody – Kings of Leon
I Gotta Feeling – Black Eyed Peas

It’s almost as if the Grammys are morphing into the VMAs, or the other less prestigious awards, only with way more completely unneeded categories. So many flipping categories.

Not to say that some of these nominations are deserved, but just because a song is catchy and played all over the telly doesn’t mean it’s good. If Taylor Swift or Black Eyed Peas win record of the year, I’ll be pissed. Just as long as one of the other three win. And Best New Artist? Grammys, you need to up your indie cred by a gazillion percent. Three of the nominated bands came out with their album a long while ago. Ting Tings – May of 2008. MGMT – Oct. 2007 and Jan. 2008. Silversun Pickups – okay, they released Swoon in 09, but they released Carnavas in 06, and Pikul on 05. For crying out loud, THEY’RE NOT NEW! They may only be new to you Grammy voters, but “Lazy Eye” was actually kind of a hit back in 2006. Wake up, Grammys.

But what’s worse – nay, in fact HORRIFYING – this is the list for best hard rock performance:
War Machine – AC/DC
Check my Brain – Alice in Chains
What I’ve Done – Linkin Park
The Unforgiven III – Metallica
Burn in to the Ground – Nickelback…



Wow, Grammys, you really fucked up this one. Do you honestly think people are going to take you seriously after that? The fact that “1901” isn’t up for record of the year is terrible enough.

I was confused after hearing how ridiculous these nominations were, so I wikipedia’d the Grammy nomination process. I’d rather not explain it myself, so I’ll just CTRL+C.

Record companies and individuals may submit recordings to be nominated. The entries are entered online and then a physical copy of the product must be sent to the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences. Once a work is entered, reviewing sessions are held by over 150 experts from the recording industry. This is done only to determine whether or not a work is eligible or entered into the proper category for official nomination. They may vote to nominate in the general field (Record of the Year, Album of the Year, Song of the Year and Best New Artist) and in no more than nine out of 30 other fields on their ballots. Only 5 acts can be nominated for each category. Following this process the votes are tabulated. The 5 recordings that earn the most votes become the nominees. There may be more than five nominees if there is a tie in the nomination process. After the nominations are announced final voting ballots are sent to Recording Academy members. They may then vote in the general field and in no more than eight of the 30 fields. Ballots are tabulated secretly by the major independent accounting firm Deloitte Touche Tohmatsu. Following the tabulation of votes the winners are announced at the Grammy Awards. The recording with the most votes in a category wins and it is possible to have a tie. Winners are presented with the Grammy Award and those who don’t win are given a medal for their nomination. Academy members in the nomination process and final voting process are to vote based upon quality alone. They are not supposed to be influenced by sales, chart performance, personal friendships, regional preferences or company loyalty. The acceptance of gifts is prohibited. Members are urged to vote in a manner that preserves the integrity of the academy. The nomination and final voting processes requires that members vote only in their fields of expertise. The eligibility period for the 2010 Grammy awards is October 1, 2008 to August 31, 2009.

That’s pretty messed up. You have to enter your album to be nominated? What if an artist doesn’t get around to entering, but they have the BEST ALBUM EVER? Again, that’s messed up. There was also a quote on the Wiki page that made me happy.

“I think the Grammys are nothing more than some gigantic promotional machine for the music industry. They cater to a low intellect and they feed the masses. They don’t honor the arts or the artist for what he created. It’s the music business celebrating itself. That’s basically what it’s all about.” – Maynard Keenan of Tool

Yes. I love it. It’s like the Grammys are just a way of keeping all the awards going to the same people. Especially with all the unnecessary categories – so people get nominated for multiple awards which technically all mean the same thing. It’s a cycle of marketing, radio play, music videos, album sales, and awards – some crazy incestuous relationship between the recording industry and the artists they represent and the voters.

This is how ridiculous the Grammys have always been – the Dixie Chicks have won more awards than the Beatles. Jimmy Sturr has won more awards than Michael Jackson. Who the eff is Jimmy Sturr? He won best polka album like 18 out of the 24 years it’s actually been a category. How fair is that?

Not fair.

Grammys, you fail.

Gaga, you better win something.

God I wish I could have seen her last year at the Showbox. No way there will be another chance to see her at a venue like that.

❤ Abby


2 Responses to “the grammys are like the lame relative that still uses cassette tapes and dial-up”

  1. unidentified 04/30/2010 at 6:26 pm #

    you suck
    NICKELBACK kicks ass and gaga is crap no talent
    and who gave you the right to puts bands down and the Grammys if your going to put shite online make sure it is not you own stupid opinion

    • abbigshmail 05/01/2010 at 12:12 pm #

      Who gives me the right? The Constitution gives me the right to express my own opinion. Brush up on your U.S. History, dude.

      And if you’re going to bash other people’s blog posts, then you should learn how to write a sentence. Kthxbai.

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