“Where the fuck is my Tambourine?”

23 Aug

I’m going to halt from talking about the UWT Leadership Retreat for a bit, because honestly, last night was way crazier.

That’s Demetri Martin up there. He’s a person. And Libby and I went and saw his comedy show last night at the Moore. But it took us quite a lot to get there.

After getting home from the retreat, Mom and Libby and I bolted over to Grandma’s so I could take a shower and Mom and Dad could meet up to go to the Seahawks game. Oh, thank god they were in Seattle.

We got going right on time to our night of hilarity. It was about 7:30, and we were on Second Ave. but as we were turning on to Virginia Street – I shit you not – my car died. Like, right as I turned the corner, and stepping on the brakes a bit, it stalled, then died. I could see the Moore in front of us. Literally, it was like 200 yards away. The parking lot was…maybe 50 yards away. People started honking, but it was a one-way street, so we were lucky at least in that. Libby got out and told people to go around, because my emergency lights wouldn’t go on. We sat there for a minute, I’m freaking out, and then a few guys and this girl with pink hair helped us parallel park by pushing. Seriously. My power steering was dead, so it was really hard to turn the wheel, but we actually got it out of the road, with the help of these great people randomly on the street. One of the guys actually was at the Demetri Martin show and we saw him leaving right as we did. But as we were almost into the non parking spot, a cop pulled up behind us, and told us that he wouldn’t get us towed, because we were in a bit of a jam. But he told us that someone would eventually tow us, because we were in a no parking zone.

This is where Mom and Dad came in handy. Since Libby didn’t answer her phone, Mom and Dad drove down to the Moore to see what was up, because they’re that weird. It was 20 ’til 8 o’clock, and I was starting to think that we weren’t going to be able to go to our show, and I was really starting to freak out. Once the parentals arrived, we jumped it, and Mom and Dad told us to go to the show. Little did we know, once they got my car started again, it went merely 20 yards up the hill. Dad had to call our AAA tow truck, and they couldn’t leave the car alone, or else it would have been towed. So Mom and Dad didn’t get to go to the Seahawks game.

Thank god I didn’t know that while I was in the show, or else it would have made me feel REALLY REALLY fucking guilty. I mean, I still feel kind of guilty right now, but at least I got to enjoy the comedy show.

And it was PERFECT.

We had the same view as that photo up there ^^^^ I haven’t uploaded my pics and video because I was too tired to go find the camera cord for the new Coolpix. I’ll upload them as soon as I find the cord.

Demetri had everything from the Large Pad to the keyboard, his guitar, his harmonica, more drawings and the laser pointer, and a new part of the act that was so freaking funny. Demetri painted an army man, set him on a stool, mic’d him, and “interviewed” him by stepping on and off a voice changer to basically talk to himself. What was so perfect was the high voice his tiny man had. And his shoe had a very deep voice.

“Hey man, can you not take me off using Steve?”


“Yeah, Steve, the other shoe. You just did it on stage, his face goes right into my ass.”

“I’m sorry, man. I’ll try not to do that anymore.”

“Cause we gotta hang out, like, all the time. It gets awkward.”

And picture the shoe talking in a REALLY REALLY low voice.

And speaking of awkward – Demetri did a great song about ways to end an awkward silence.

Jazz hands.

Wicka wicka wicka.

Awk-ward si-lence. CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP.

Shhh….shhh… and you touch their lips.

Those are just a few, but there were many more. I just can’t remember them at the moment. My favorite part, actually, was the random banter with the audience in the front. There was this girl celebrating her Sweet Sixteen right in front. “Happy Sweet Sixteen, how old are you?” He asked. And at one point, that same girl shouted out, “do you want to go into the bathroom with me after the show?”

“A sixteen-year-old is asking me to go to the bathroom with her.”

“There’s a keg by it.”

“There’s a keg in the bathroom?”

“No, outside the bathroom.”

“Well, that’s a good way to remind people that they have to go to the bathroom. ‘Oh look, here’s a keg…fuck I have to pee.”

And there was a woman who brought her 6-year-old to the show, Rhiannon. I’m just guessing how to spell that. It didn’t seem to stop Demetri from swearing though. It was weird hearing him swear, because he always kept it clean on Comedy Central specials and on the CD.

Speaking of swearing, that quote I used for my headline was in the encore. Demetri was talking about a point in your life when a sentence that comes out of your mouth that sums up exactly where you are in your life. And his was in his New York apartment a few years ago – “Where the fuck is my tambourine?”

Apparently he needed a tambourine.

The encore was my favorite part though, because he was taking requests for “oldies but goodies,” and just random questions. Some girl asked him to marry her, people asked a lot about the movie, Taking Woodstock, which comes out on friday, and about “Important Things,” which isn’t going to air until next spring.

However, the last two questions were asked in perfect unison from two opposite ends of the theater, which is HELLA tall, BTW. We were in the first balcony, and we already thought we were high up. The second balcony must have been in the fucking ceiling.

“What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream?”

“Where are you staying tonight?”

“My favorite flavor of ice cream is the Four Seasons.”

So funny, and so worth the frustration of a dying car battery. I was just kind of pissed that we had to leave right away afterwards, and I REALLY wanted to stand outside the theater and see if he would come out and take pictures with people. After Lindsay and I missed out on that at the Flight of the Conchords show in May, I didn’t want to miss out on it for Demetri. But sadly, my car wanted me to miss out.

Oh well, Demetri was amazing. Libby and I had a blast…ladies.


❤ Abby


One Response to ““Where the fuck is my Tambourine?””

  1. Your Aunt Lori 08/23/2009 at 3:33 pm #

    Sounds like quite a night, your parents did what parents to and as for them coming when Libby didn’t answer her phone that is called concern, we parents get that once you guys are born, I’m sure they didn’t mind missing the game, you and your sister are far more important to them then a football game. You need to do something really really nice for them, they are the best and you are very blessed to have them.
    See you in September,

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