Last night was the most cultural experience I’ve had in a long time

21 Mar

And I can truly say that in all senses of the word.

I’ll explain, whilst I’m having a ridiculously late lunch of iced chai and a ham sandwich.

Last night at 5:15, Libby, Andrea and I started our trek to Forks for the Twilight DVD release party. And at this very moment you are probably thinking, “WTF Abby? I thought you hated Twilight?”

Well, I do. But I went so that my sister could go, because she loves it, and I love her. And I heard that there might be a chance that some of the stars would be making surprise appearances at several release parties. As I came to realize, I was sadly mistaken about my conjecture about the Forks party, but I’ll get to more of that later.

So we started driving 45 minutes later than we said we were, so that made our arrival time 45 minutes later, at about 8:15 ish. Google Maps said it took 3 hours ish. I drove the whole way there and back, so I drove for a total of 7 hours yesterday. Surprisingly the drive from the Hood Canal bridge to Port Angeles was very enjoyable and not stressful. After we stopped for Safeway chinese in Port Angeles, however, highway 101 got much more windy than it had been up until then. And all the while we’re driving, Mom is calling us every half hour because I was an idiot and forgot to get the GPS from my uncle’s car weeks ago. And my Blackberry was being retarded and not giving us directions. And the printer decided to die, so Mom wrote out the directions from Google Maps. At that point, everything was against us.

But once we got to Port Angeles, Libby got the GPS to work on my Crackberry (It kept freezing, so I’ve decided to call it that today.) But the directions on my phone were different from Mom’s handwritten directions. Like idiots, we decided to follow the GPS. Once we got around Crescent Lake at the foot of the Olympics, the GPS took us down this long, dirty road. One that looked like a serial killer with someone else’s face stapled to his might jump out and saw open our car doors. THANKFULLY, I had a map in the car. A good old fashioned map is what got the three of us going the right direction. We were foiled by the GPS and the internet directions. Just goes to show you that technology isn’t always the answer.

Anyway, once we got back on 101, we called Mom and stayed on the phone until we saw a sign that said “Forks 11 miles.” We all cheered with relief, then I started laughing uncontrollably. For a minute, I thought we were going to end up in Canada (even though I knew that was impossible without crossing a bridge, but it felt like were in a black hole for awhile.) No lights, no signs, nothing. Why would anyone want to live there? Fifteen minutes later, we found civilization, or at least as civilized as Forks can be. There was huge crowd of people waiting outside this store called “Dazzled by Twilight.” Seriously. I hate the word “dazzled.” As soon as we passed by it, more cheering ensued, mostly because we knew we were in the right place. We parked the car and walked down the street to this tiny shop, filled with tweens, teenage girls, and surprisingly 30-something women, clad in there “Team Edward” and “I kissed a werewolf and I liked it” shirts. This store was INSANE. I felt so weird.

People actually bought this stuff.

To reference a far superior piece of literature, I felt like a mudblood in a room full of purebloods. Andrea and I looked around the room at all the girls with their bad Alice haircuts and bags full of Edward paraphernalia and felt so weird. We finally met up with Marki and her friends after they’d eaten dinner, and then Andrea and I didn’t feel as awkward. There was this one shirt, that Libby told me later was referring to the first time Edward and Bella did the dirty dirty, that said “Edward can bust my headboard, bite my pillow, and bruise my body any day.”


I might have been the only one in the room who saw the blatant message of abusive relationships right there, but I’ve given up on trying to understand exactly why teenage girls are so enamored with this story. I don’t really care to try to figure it out anymore, and I’ve accepted the fact that it’s gotten kids to read again. So I applaud Ms. Meyer on that, but amongst the throngs of teen girls were a surprising amount of adult women. Like, women with children, and should have lives. There was actually this one lady standing in line next to us with a very tiny baby in one of those sling things that you wear on your chest. She was there with a couple other women who were too old to be there. And I’m not sure if I am being completely correct with this, but I overheard two of them talking about their kids, “Mine’s Bella, yours is Emmett.” And then they laughed.


One of the reasons why I’m succumbed to the fact that tweens, teens, and girls in their early twenties go gaga over this series is that they’re still young. They can identify with Bella, mostly because she’s so void of character that they can insert themselves in the story. And that’s all fine and dandy. But women who have children of their own, hopefully have graduated from college, have a job, maybe are married, should have a more mature taste in books. I know I sound like I’m speaking from a high horse, but I think I have pretty mature taste in books. I’ve had lots of people’s good taste rub off on me – my mother, some of my friends, my teachers. So I find it weird that women who should have their own life, stand outside in 33 degree weather at 12:30 at night waiting for a special edition DVD of the story that shouldn’t completely resonate with them so much. It’s kind of immature. There was another women wearing a shirt that said something or other, who after she got her DVD, had her friends take a picture of her holding the DVD in front of the poster in the window, which was pretty much the same picture as the DVD cover.

I’ve often fallen under the category of “fangirl” for certain things – mostly Harry Potter and We Are Scientists (and NSYNC and The Calling if I’m really going that far back). But I’m 19. And the things that I “fangasm” over about aren’t fictional characters in a cheesy PG rated teen novel.

Even when we were leaving, Andrea started ranting in the car about “that woman should be at home with her baby in a warm house, not waiting in line in the freezing cold at midnight!” It made me chuckle.

Whilst we were waiting in line, there was this one Toyota truck driving down the one main road I swear 30 times over the period of 2 hours. Seriously. He’d sometimes have 4 guys in his truck, they’d blast music out the windows and sometimes honk. At one point, he was all by himself and Libby said that his friends stopped caring and left him to drive by himself. I guess Forks is that boring. And there was the fact that hundreds of teenage girls crowded on their road. It was the probably the most people that’s been in their town in a long time. They were probably scoping some chicks out. But every time they’d drive by, we’d cheer. Libby counted around 30, but she wasn’t sure.

Back to the main reason I’d gone – I wanted to potentially see some famous movie stars, specifically hot British ones who’s names rhyme with Shmob Schmattinson (I don’t love him as Edward, I will forever love him as Cedric.) But I was sadly disappointed when there were no movie stars. We did have to wait in the freezing cold for FOREVER, and then make our way up a gazillion stairs to a warm room where our feet could thaw. Libby was a moron and didn’t wear any socks. But once we got up the room, we got to see an authentic performance by the Quillayute Indians. It was really cool. They had these little kids as apart of the dance. One little boy had a huge wolf head totem on that looked way too big for him, and it was so cute. I’ll tell you, it definitely wasn’t what I expected when they said “Twilight Party.” I was actually very glad that it wasn’t a big get together for teenage girls to fangasm about vampires and werewolves. No, that’s what the line was for, and the “Dazzled by Twilight” store.

I will have to admit, Marki was pretty funny talking about Taylor Lautner. She <3s him, and considering he’s 17, it made it even funnier.

I did get pretty upset when we were waiting in line for the damn DVD and the lady running the whole shindig was poorly organized and ignored Libby trying to ask her a question about when we’d be able to go purchase. The line we were in – the non-pre-ordered line – thankfully didn’t have to wait until everyone got theirs. There were only 15 of us, and hundreds of them.

We finally got out of Forks at 12:48, after waiting in line for almost an hour, and we started our long drive home again. We got turned around one time, but only lost a few miles, and I only got tired once we saw the sign that said “Bremerton 23 miles.” Up until then, I really wasn’t familiar with the road, so I was paying very close attention. We got home at 3:45.

So overall, the night was tiring, freezing, kind of ridiculous, very eye-opening, hilarious, and really fun honestly. But if I ever hear the word “dazzle” used in regular speech, I’ll go crazy. And I’ll be FUCKING PISSED if I find out that any of the cast was in Seattle last night, because that would have meant 2/3rds less driving and a hell of a lot more sleep, and seeing a famous person.

I’m off to read a book, called “The Cheese Monkeys.” It’s pretty good so far.

Wow, that was a hella long post.

❤ Abby


One Response to “Last night was the most cultural experience I’ve had in a long time”

  1. Adrian 03/21/2009 at 11:05 pm #

    “(I don’t love him as Edward, I will forever love him as Cedric.)”


    that was my favorite part of this blog. Cedric is so pretty.

    haha I love the t-shirt about the first time they did the ‘dirty dirty’.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: