I’m a master of brain thrusting!

4 Apr

I’m getting to the point where I’m plugging everything nowadays.

I advise you all to go search for “we are scientists nme” on youtube. Seriously. They are hilarious. If only NME didn’t have to be mailed from the UK, or else I’d subscribe. It’s about $150 for an imported subscription. I want to live in Europe.

That’s what I’m doing when I become a rich and famous Rolling Stone journalist. I’ll be like Ann Powers or Peter Travers. They’re so cool.

I’m traveling to the UK. Who wants to come with me!

But anyway, so as you all know by now, We Are Scientists is pretty much the best band ever. Don’t argue with me. You’ll just lose. So I illegally downloaded their new album, Brain Thrust Mastery, before it was even released in the UK, and now I’ve come to find out that it isn’t even being released in the US until May 10. Why do we always get gipped?


Wait, where was I?

Oh, I just got up to say goodbye to my friend Christina. She’s going home for the weekend, as most of us are, after the incident this week.

I didn’t even fill you in about the incident!


Okay, on wednesday, three of my friends went for a run in the woods in BROAD DAYLIGHT. That’s the key. I didn’t go with them, even though they asked me to. As they were coming back on the main road, the security van came to pick them up, and told them to GET IN THE CAR. The car dropped them off outside the dorms, and they ran upstairs. The security guard texted them and said a girl got tasered and raped in the woods, RIGHT WHERE THEY WERE. We got an email quickly after that, saying what time it happened and what the guy looked like, and my friends SAW THE GUY WALKING BACK 20 MINUTES AFTER IT HAPPENED! They got so freaked out, as well as most of the rest of us, sans 2 others, because when they realized what time it happened and where, they could have ran right by her as her legs were paralyzed in the woods. That’s what’s scary about it, as well as the fact that it was in broad daylight and the guy walked down the main road like nothing happened.

Now that’s fucked up.

And they haven’t found the guy yet.

So, back to my original point…

What was it again?

Oh, Brain Thrust Mastery! It isn’t being released in the US until May 10, and them being my favorite band and all, I don’t want to wait that long for the full copy. So, out of support for the record industry and W.A.S., I purchased the import off Amazon.com. I love them that much that I’ll pay $22 for a CD. If I had a turntable, I’d buy the vinyl as well. But I don’t, so that’s not an issue. I desperately want one though.

So what exactly does Brain Thrust Mastery mean? I’m not exactly sure, but it sounds like some euphemism for wracking your brain. Thinking VERY VERY hard. Something like that, which is total W.A.S. style.

I’m stop yammering about my obsession with Keith Murray and Chris Cain, who, by the way, I’d love to meet and marry someday, hypothetically speaking. They’re thirty. I’m almost nineteen. And not so sure how reverse polygamy works. But, if I do become a famous music journalist, who knows? Maybe I’ll get to go on tour with them like Cameron Crowe wrote about in “Almost Famous.” That movie’s semi-autobiographical. My future semi-autobiography. Maybe I’ll get to participate in the the usual W.A.S. shenanigans. That would be most appreciated.

Yeah, so….

❤ Abby


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