I need to start over.

7 Aug

I read my most favorite column today-The Pop of King by Stephen King. It’s the very last page of Entertainment weekly, and it’s the first one I’ve been able to read in the last two weeks, since the last two weeks have had something to do with Harry Potter 7, and I couldn’t risk major spoilers. But it made me see something. The pull quote from the column said “The crazy guy dancing in Best Buy demonstrates the purpose of these things that we write about–to cause a burst of happiness.” (See crazy guy at bottom) But Steve here made me see that life is not about evaluating what life is, it’s about those moments that make us want to dance in the aisle at a Best Buy. Now, it’s a little obscure metaphor, but when you watch the video, it will become much clearer to you. We have to squeeze the juice out of every day we get, do what we want, and do it when we have the chance.

But along with the words of wisdom from Stephen King, something happened today that made me feel as low as low could be. Yeah, I felt like a total squib (another odd metaphor, I know) I feel like I can’t do anything right. Blah, blah, blah, whoa is me. But then yesterday’s revelation came back to me, I have something completely new to start in 3 weeks, or less. I’m entering into a completely new place, with all new people, with the exception of two. But one is one of my best friends, and my roommate, and the other has social behaviorial issues–I’m sure he’ll have much more of an issue fitting in than I will. With all of the failure that I’ve endured, I have a clean slate. Nobody knows what I have or have not done. I’m not saying that I should make some totally new person, but start from scratch, with no baggage. I’m telling you, with all my friends, if I tried to start over, it wouldn’t work. There’s too much water under the thing… or whatever.

I don’t want to leave behind my past, but I want to start a new future. Yeah, this summer stasis has kicked my ass, which isn’t what should have happened, but it’s given me time to think… lots of time.

Until next time.
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