Somewhere a clock is ticking…

5 Aug

And we’re all counting down.

I just looked at my calendar, and I realized that I had not changed it in over a month. Just for the sheer thought of forgetting time, I just switched it to July, to trick myself that I hadn’t forgetten the entire month of July. I also liked the picture for the month of July, so that helped too. I can’t believe that it’s already August. I didn’t mention it the other day, but now it’s hit me. I have just under 3 weeks until I leave for school, until Caity leaves for school, until life officially starts.

Okay, so graduation was the end of our childhood, but we’ve been stuck in this limbo for 6 weeks. We’ve not been kids or adults. Time hasn’t stopped, but somehow it hasn’t kept going. This has been a time of nothingness. We’ve all been in a state of stasis. A stasis of life. I feel like I’ve just let it slip away. We’ve had 6 weeks to do whatever it is that we want to accomplish before we’re officially registered as an adult. It’s like the 30 day grace period before you have to activate your copy of Photoshop, except longer. You do all you can before it’s lost, and you have to take responsibility for yourself.

I’ve yet to earn any money this summer, fore all of it has come from relatives and friends as graduation presents. I’ve yet to sneak out of the house. I’ve yet to do anything remotely illegal, except download my copy of photoshop. And oh boy, that was a rush. Yeah, sure. And there’s one thing that I can’t help but think that won’t come for awhile if I don’t do something now. I’ll be too busy to even think about it when school starts.

Everyone’s leaving. I’m going to be stuck with one person that I know for a year. I don’t want everyone to go away without saying goodbye. I feel like there are so many more things to say. One person in particular. I can’t just let time catch up with us. We’ve been ahead of it this whole summer. But in three weeks, it’s going to catch up with most of us. But some still have a whole month and a half. We’ll be going in real time while the rest of you are still in the stasis. I don’t want to leave anyone behind. It would be too hard.

I apologize for being a downer, but it’s just hit me.

I’ve got this feeling that there’s something that I missed
(I could do most anything to you…)
Don’t you breathe
Something happened, that I never understood
You can’t leave
Every second, dripping off my fingertips
Wage your war
Another soldier, says he’s not afraid to die
Well I am scared
In slow motion, the blast is beautiful
Doors slam shut
A clock is ticking, but it’s hidden far away
Safe and sound

-Snow Patrol


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