At Wit’s End

18 Jul

I didn’t really feel like being creative with my post title. It just happens to be the song that I’m listening to. It’s from Pirates of the Caribbean. I’m in a movie mood lately. With Harry Potter and Hairspray coming out, I’ve been really reading up on my entertainment news.

Now that I think about it, the post title does have something to do with how I’ve been feeling lately. My friends are driving me crazy. One friend hates the other one because she has a boyfriend and that means that she’s “changed.” Bullshit. She’s just jealous because she’s never had a boyfriend of her own. But I guess I shouldn’t be talking. Like I’m such a voice of reason on the matter. This is coming from someone who’s never had so much as a real date in her life. The closest thing that I have had was a “friend” date to Homecoming my junior year with the one person that I wished it would have been a real date with. I mean, he knew about my feelings then, but I don’t know if he does now. But still, when he did, he dated my friend, the same one with the boyfriend now. She gets around. But we have what? A month left before I go to school, and two months before he does. There’s no point now. I should just wait for the new group of guys, a completely new crop. Never met any of them, except one guy, who’s mildly autistic, who doesn’t really count. Damn it all.

Now I’m listening to Jack Sparrow, the song, not Johnny Depp soundbites. This song is much more uplifting. Much more “we can do it!” It’s lighthearted. It’s the way that I should look at my life–with hope and courage. That sounds so cheesy, but in layman’s terms, I need to nt be such a pessimistic wimp. There, I said it. I’m a lame-ass. I mean, I don’t hate my life, quite the opposite. I just am bored with it. I want something amazing to happen. I really don’t care if it’s amazingly terrible, just something to kick my life into high gear. I can’t seem to step on the gas, so I need something to rearend me. Wait, that was a bad metaphor. Um…. something to… no, not fill up the tank, god, there are so car metaphors that work that aren’t dirty. Fine, someone needs to t-bone me. Damnit, that one sounds bad too. You know what I mean. Someone can scare the hell out of me, surprise me or make me feel like I’m on the top of the world. I just need things to change.

I want something to happen.

Or someone.

Crap

I’m lame.

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